A fire department in the Lower Mainland has recently come under fire for reportedly hiring only attractive, strapping young individuals instead of older, more experienced firefighters.

With recent financial cutbacks and the rising cost of inflation, the fire department has been forced to look for alternative sources of revenue. The annual firefighter calendar — a favourite amongst locals —  has become increasingly popular over the years and is being cited as the main reason behind the shift in hiring methods.

“By hiring individuals that photograph well,” fire chief Ignatius Blandus told reporters, “we’re able to improve our yearly calendar and make up the difference for recent cutbacks. This is largely about finding a way to balance the books and avoid running a deficit.”

Instead of submitting traditional cover letters and resumes, applicants are being asked to send photo portfolios and recent headshots for consideration. Standard fitness examinations have also been replaced by auditions that measure a person’s ability to stand beside a burning building and smoulder for the camera.

However, some critics of the new hiring strategy are claiming it could ultimately put countless lives at risk.

“These men and women are being hired based solely on their killer bods and perfect facial bone structure,” local MP Bob Turpis explained in an email to The Peak. “The only fire-related experience many of them have is from burning up the club dancefloor on a Friday or Saturday night, so I have to call into question their ability to pull someone from a burning building.”

Blandus has been quick to defend his department’s decision though, saying the hiring process does take into account a person’s physique and toned, toned muscles. “We are basing our hires on a physical examination of a different type. Musculature can tell a lot about an individual; it both exemplifies attractiveness and strength. By using the portfolios to screen applicants, we are essentially getting the best of both worlds.

“If someone was rescuing you from a burning building, wouldn’t you rather be carried out by someone with the arms of a greek god or goddess? I know I would.”

Revenue from the department’s calendars is reportedly up 315 per cent from last year’s and the money is already being used to improve the firehouse’s facilities — which include a state-of-the-art photography studio space and a year’s supply of coverup and foundation.

“With results like these, it wouldn’t be surprising if this hiring strategy is taken up across the country,” explained SFU economics professor Dr. Diana Locke. “This could completely change the way in which essential services conduct fundraising. Police departments, paramedics, within the next few years, it’s possible they’ll all start publishing annual calendars and reevaluating their hiring processes.”

Regardless of the long-term effects this might have, Blandus is focussing on the immediate benefits his firehouse is seeing — all because of support from the community.

“We hope that each time you check to see what day of the week it is and you look at your firefighter calendar, you’ll be reminded of the contribution you made to help better your community: better facilities, quality services, and more abs.”