Zainab Salam
The Clausgate Scandal: How Big Beverage tried to cancel Christmas
December 20, 2025By: Zainab Salam, Reporter in Hiding By the time the headline “Santa Claus Hates Everyone” ricocheted across the internet and news outlets, the world had already begun cancelling Christmas. Children sobbed into their half-eaten gingerbread men. Christmas influencers rebranded as “seasonally ambivalent creators.” One particular parenting blogger recommended replacing Santa with a “more emotionally available snowman,” noting that Frosty at least “shows up when he says he will and respects boundaries.” But as any good investigative publication knows, when a story smells fishy, it usually isn’t because of herring snacks at the North Pole. And so began our descent into…
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Reimagining Shakespeare: The campus is but a stage
December 18, 2025By: Zainab Salam, Opinions Editor Jess: a fourth-year student, burdened by ambition and Wi-Fi issues. Advisor: a keeper of bureaucratic riddles, and a destroyer of hopes and dreams. Professor: philosopher, lecturer, and a veteran of many, endless faculty meetings. Barista:…
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Capitalism has no place in Islamic practices
November 11, 2025By: Zainab Salam, Opinions Editor In this social media age, we are invited inside people’s homes to witness their daily lives. We catch glimpses of the way they practice their faith, celebrate events, and live out their daily rituals. Some…
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Finding beauty in ordinary nature
November 11, 2025By: Zainab Salam, Opinions Editor Driving up Burnaby Mountain the other day, I was engulfed by a sense of awe at the scenery that surrounded me. The sight of the yellowing leaves dotted with raindrops that sparkled like tiny jewels.…
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Learning Spanish made my world more expansive
November 11, 2025By: Zainab Salam, Opinions Editor When I was around eight years old, I had a friend who used to take me to her church’s community hall on weekends. Being me, I was always open to learning new things. So I’d…
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My journey infiltrating the country of Islam
November 11, 2025By: Zainab Salam, Sand Excavator Mission report: Desert Day 1 Subject: Bringing Civilization™ to the so-called Orient. “Girl, we going to Islam?” That is what I asked my adjutant upon dismounting the camel. He nodded gravely. Neither of us knew…
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We need to persist beyond symbolism
November 10, 2025By: Zainab Salam, Opinions Editor Every September 30, since 2021, we see public statements made by institutions and corporations that are still operating on unceded land — statements to remind us to observe the National Day for Truth and Reconciliation.…
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Convenience isn’t always indulgence
November 10, 2025By: Zainab Salam, Opinions Editor and Michelle Young, Co-Editor-in-Chief Working in the food service industry, we often receive single-item delivery orders for something easy to make. When that happens, at least one person makes a snide remark regarding the “silly”…
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A Squishmallow-cuddling partner is a no-go
November 9, 2025By: Zainab Salam, Relationship Expert Squishmallow stans may be ready to march with their plush armies after reading this article, but the truth is, owning a Squishmallow just might be a sign of the times. From what I’ve been witnessing,…
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We must choose to rest and re-charge
November 9, 2025By: Zainab Salam, Opinions Editor Today’s jam-packed schedules have become the norm. Most people have to juggle a seemingly endless list of tasks and responsibilities just to keep up with the demands of modern life. Plenty of the people I…
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