SFU
SFUnexplained: Disappearing service tickets
February 16, 2026By: Sasha Rubick, SFU Student You can’t throw a rock at SFU without hitting an abandoned facilities services project. We all know that sign, posted in SFU letterhead, adhered with masking tape: “a service ticket has been submitted.” It mocks you as you pass by, daily, for months on end. Who can forget that the automatic doors in the WMC remained broken for the better part of last school year? Or months of walking through the SUB to see no headway on a shattered glass divider? Or the campus’ code blue phones, which have been out of order for more…
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Reimagining Shakespeare: The campus is but a stage
December 18, 2025By: Zainab Salam, Opinions Editor Jess: a fourth-year student, burdened by ambition and Wi-Fi issues. Advisor: a keeper of bureaucratic riddles, and a destroyer of hopes and dreams. Professor: philosopher, lecturer, and a veteran of many, endless faculty meetings. Barista:…
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SFU employee spills the tea about her embezzlement-obsessed colleague
December 8, 2025By: Noeka Nimmervoll, Staff Investigator The following is a satirical and fictional commentary. Oh boy, do we have some juicy tea for you. Have you ever wanted to say, “Fuck the system!” and chug some milk while your boss has…
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The Steve Chronigulls
November 11, 2025By: Lucaiah Smith-Miodownik The Peak recently interviewed Steve C. Gull, a local screenwriter and seagull who lives in the reflecting pond. We decided to check back in with the avian creative and see how he’s been since we last spoke.…
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The Peak investigates: The SFU Pisser
November 10, 2025By: The Humour Investigator As I sat at my cubicle in The Peak office, all I could think about was what I used to be. When I was a News Writer, I investigated crime on campus . . . and…
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Timeshares for sale on Burnaby Mountain
November 8, 2025By: Mason Mattu, Timeshare scam detector and Humour Editor Somewhere in the backrooms of Maggie Benson Centre, a group of tourists has been roped into a sales presentation about timeshares at SFU. Their salesperson? Tiffannee. She’s not just hungry for…
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What is being filmed on campus this month?
August 7, 2025By: Yildiz Subuk, Staff Writer Stepping off the bus at the loop near the convocation mall, one immediately notices the set. At first, I thought the university was building a small aesthetic space to brighten the atmosphere, maybe an area…
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#NotClueless: SFU, like, totally gave me a private jet?
August 7, 2025By: Katie Walkley, Peak Associate Hey Instagram fan girly pop queens! It’s your influencer queen here. You won’t believe the level of growth I’ve been on lately — both as an influencer and as a girl in the world. I’ve…
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Rating MBC food choices based on how likely I am to recite Robert Frost whilst taking a shit after consumption
July 24, 2025By: Katie Walkley, Peak Associate This is my long-awaited and highly requested ranking of the Maggie Benston Centre Food Court choices based on how likely I am to recite Robert Frost whilst taking a shit after consumption (in order from…
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Lana Del Rey’s hologram to headline Fall Kickoff
July 24, 2025By: Mason Mattu, Humour Editor Picture this: Lana Del Rey, singing Chemtrails Over The Country Club, frantically flying over an audience, and waving her arms like a fairy all at the same time. At first, you think, “Goddamn. What an…
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