Sex Dungeon

“We apologize for the accidental police raid on what was revealed to be just a neighbourhood sex dungeon”

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for attending this press conference on such short notice. There’s been a lot of chatter and rumours circulating on social media, and we figured it was better to address the recent events directly than have the actual facts get lost in translation. At approximately 8:15 p.m. last night, while acting on an anonymous tip about possible human trafficking, local law enforcement executed a raid on the basement suite of a Burnaby residence. After announcing their presence to the suite’s inhabitants,  several officers claim to have heard giddyish noises, followed by the door unlocking from the…

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