Humour Editor
Horoscopes Oct 10th–Oct 16th
October 10, 2022By: Kelly Chia, reader of the Stars and fanfiction Aries: Take literary inspiration and dress up as a scarlet “A” this year, as in Scarlet Letter. Not only will you show your teachers initiative by dressing as an A, you will also experience the public persecution of fitting your outfit through classroom doors! A+ for you, Aries! Taurus: Taurus, I’m feeling like you should dress up as specifically Rick O’Connell from The Mummy. No, the Stars haven’t been on a movie binge recently. Don’t you think you owe it to yourself to empower yourself with himbo energy? Gemini: The Stars…
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Horoscopes Sept 26th–Oct 2nd
September 28, 2022By: Max Lorette and Kelly Chia, Partners in Star Crimes Aries Don’t look now, Aries, but the junk folder in your email is beginning to grow sentient. Before long, it will be strong enough. The Stars haven’t told me exactly…
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Soul Style Quiz: Fall-ing in love
September 23, 2022By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor Hello my darling sprouts, You may remember my mother before me, Sylvia XVII, whose express purpose was to divine your perfect style by the mere art of quiz-taking. Now, for my modern perspective as you…
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Rogers is so “sowwy” about nationwide shortage!
July 29, 2022By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor Oh noOoOoO!!! Hey Canada, we’re besties for-eve-sies, right? So itty bitty me is so sowwy you felt like I let you down! fiddles with tiny fingers You guys are using big scary words like “blackout,”…
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Long Story Long: What I learned from my four empty glasses of water
July 28, 2022By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor Dear readers, I’ve had an epiphany so devastating, so special, so simply metamorphic that I must share it with you immediately. We often have small moments in life that feel much bigger than they actually…
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Local Chinese student bravely claims watching movies is therapy
July 20, 2022By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor This week, The Peak scouted a student who was looking for an interview or a conversation about her experiences, “depending on our feelings and inclinations to heal.” With a fond look towards Turning Red playing on…
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Leaked Among Us movie script
July 18, 2022By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor Gentle readers, The Peak received an exclusive sneak peek of a script we are afraid of . . . the Among Us movie. Today is a sad day. Nay, it is a sussy day. Read…
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The quintessential curriculum you will encounter as an English student
July 17, 2022By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor My fellow beloved English students, After having spent almost six years at this beloved institution, I have derived the perfect formula for the English class that everyone will experience in university. It comes down to…
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CONFESSIONALS: If you leave the group chat, I am leaving you for the sharks
June 28, 2022By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor Is this a confessional or a reckoning? At this point, I’m not sure. I am a destroyed woman. And it’s because of you. I will RUIN you. Look, I know how I sound. I’m a…
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Dear Peakie: She’s got style, she’s got Glee, she has no grace
June 22, 2022By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor and Peakie-of-the-Century Dear Peakie, I want to have a cool new aesthetic but I don’t know where to start! I’ve been scrolling through colour palettes, Pinterest boards, and everything you can think of to find my…
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