Humour Editor
Pink convocation, unnecessary vent sesh, and opposite day?
June 21, 2023Dear Peakie, I wore pink to my convocation as an homage to Barbie, Elle Woods, and Mean Girls (yes, it was on a Wednesday), and no one understood! How can I recover after discovering that I am surrounded by uncultured folks? This Barbie is really weighed down by all of this. How did they not notice how “fetch” my hot pink heels were? “What? Like it’s hard?” Sincerely, Vision in Pink Dear Vision in Pink, I want to start by saying I truly admire your respect towards pink legends. Pinkalicious and P!nk are my idols! Honestly, I think everyone at…
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STORYTIME: THE DAY I FOUND OUT ONE OF THE EMPLOYEES AT MACKENZIE CAFE WAS MY MOTHER (part two)
June 15, 2023Hi everyone! Welcome back to my channel! I decided to switch things up today and film this from my car while sipping my $9 Starbucks because my manager said it would make me more relatable. What do y’all think about…
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STORYTIME: THE DAY I FOUND OUT ONE OF THE EMPLOYEES AT MACKENZIE CAFE WAS MY MOTHER
June 9, 2023Insert over-the-top thumbnail here with me looking shocked. There is text in all caps that reads, “I FINALLY FOUND MY MOM” Hi everyone! Welcome back to my channel! I have the wildest story to share with you all today. I…
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Have a splash with another Dear Peakie
June 7, 2023Dear Peakie, I used to be terrified of raccoons. So, I subscribed to Raccoon Whisperer’s YouTube channel to overcome my fear. It worked tremendously! But now, I’ve followed in James’ (Raccoon Whisperer) footsteps and fed the raccoons in my neighbourhood.…
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Horoscopes May 29–June 4
June 1, 2023Aries: Like a true fire sign, you will burn if you do not forward this message to everyone on your contacts list. As in, you will get a sunburn with embarrassing tan lines because you will fall asleep on the…
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CONFESSIONALS: I’ve been reading the same book for over two years
May 31, 2023Hey! Don’t look at me like that. Yeah, that’s right, I can feel you judging me like my ex judged me, and my previous ex, and my previous ex . . . damn, I’ve been reading this book for a…
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Daily Viagra user votes in favour of anti-trans legislation
May 26, 2023News anchor: Breaking news — a local cisgender man who does gender-affirming things all the time is adamant when it comes to preventing trans individuals from doing the same. I, your local reporter, had the opportunity to interview Mr. Big…
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Moooooom, people are making fun of Twitter Blue again!
May 8, 2023Somewhere in the world, tracked by ElonJet, a vocal free speech advocate takes time off from complying with authoritarian governments’ censorship requests to call his mommy. Mom, you don’t get it! It’s almost as embarrassing as that time users voted…
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Suggested For You:
April 9, 2023In the Mood for Reflection The koi in the AQ pond have had enough of SFU students’ ignorance. One day, a kid looks down at the pond — really takes a look at it. Suddenly, they find the answers to…
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Horoscopes March 27–April 2
March 29, 2023Aries: Precious Aries, you deserve a companion who knows how to soothe your rage, which we have determined will be directed toward leather bus seats today. We think the kind Blissey will make you smile just by looking at her.…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
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For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]