Humour Editor
STORYTIME: THE SPIDER IN MY BATHROOM HAS A FINSTA
January 31, 2024Hi everyone! Welcome back to my channel! I’m sure everyone has been wondering where I’ve been because y’all are obsessed with me. And truthfully, I needed to take a little social media break. I know I have a videographer and an editor and barely do any work to keep this channel running, but being rich and pretty on the internet is hard work. Let me know in the comments what I missed while I was offline vacationing via private jet. I mean, other than Noah Schnapp’s half-baked damage control video. Like, I’m not going to lie; I’m out of touch,…
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Clapback from the backpacks
October 20, 2023Alright, some serious backpack slander happened in this paper last week, and we’re not just going to lie down and take it. Who is we, you ask? Everyone sensible enough to know that backpacks are vastly superior to tote bags. …
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CONFESSIONALS: I can’t stop puzzling
September 21, 2023There was a time, not too long ago, when I was oblivious to the joys of puzzling. I spent my free time watching TV, running, and hanging out with friends. I was so lost. Until my friend asked me to…
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Horoscopes September 18 – 24
September 19, 2023I spent the past couple days watching Selling the OC trying to acquire wealth through osmosis. What out of context quote from the Selling universe will predict your week? Aries: “When in doubt, hide behind your empanadas.” — Bre Tiesi.…
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BREAKING NEWS: Air Canada reveals flight delay can be shortened if all passengers chip in to duct tape broken wings back together
September 11, 2023Sunday afternoon, two Air Canada planes crashed into each other at YVR Airport. While that may sound bad, an Air Canada spokesperson has asked everyone to “stop being so dramatic.” The collision between an Air Canada Rouge Airbus A319 and…
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A love letter to my menstrual disc
September 10, 2023Sooooo, we just met, but I just KNOW we’re soulmates. No, for real! What can I say? I’m an Aries; I’m passionate! So initially, I was sort of seeing pads and tampons, but they are NOT cheap dates, let me…
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Moooooom, Mark is trying to overshadow me again!
July 25, 2023Somewhere in the world, a vocal misogynist takes a break from tweeting about spaceships to call his mommy. No, Mom, I’m not going to do the breathing exercises you sent me the other day; I’m going to fight him! Yes,…
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Horoscopes July 10 – 16
July 10, 2023Aries: You, my friend, are going to have a dream about a flawed ostrich that knows how to fly. It insists on teaching fellow ostriches about the magic of flight, but it’s not working. The dream will end with your…
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Chaotic problems require chaotic solutions
June 29, 2023Dear Peakie, I’ve been filling out all the surveys in my SFU inbox since I enrolled at the university four years ago. However, I have yet to win a single gift card! Is there any record of anyone winning a…
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STORYTIME: THE DAY I FOUND OUT ONE OF THE EMPLOYEES AT MACKENZIE CAFE WAS MY MOTHER (part three)
June 27, 2023Hi everyone! Welcome back to my channel! I know there’s been a bit of a delay . . . I was on vacation. Being an influencer is HARD WORK. Like, it’s literally 24/7, and no one in any other career…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]