HUMOUR
QUIZ: What form of birth control are you?
February 10, 2020Written by Zoe Vedova, Peak Associate From gutting public school sex education classes to threatening to decrease access to abortions, our sexual health is constantly being policed by the government. Let’s turn the lens back on the institution that’s put us in this position. Answer these bureaucratically afflicted questions to figure out to which federally controlled genetic roadblock you are intrinsically connected. Which do you consider the greatest political mistake? A) The assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand B) British Columbia’s confusingly worded 2018 electoral referendum ballot C) Napoleon Bonaparte’s decision to invade Russia during the winter of 1812 D) Julius…
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SFSS hires this year’s IEC chief, a loaf of banana chocolate chip bread
February 5, 2020Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor As the SFSS election season draws near, the Board of Directors has appointed this year’s chief independent electoral commissioner (IEC): a loaf of banana chocolate chip bread. The independent electoral commission is appointed every…
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Sick of sharing offices, sessional team up to rent abandoned WMC lunch kiosk
February 4, 2020Written by Maxwell Gawlick, Peak Associate Any student who has taken a course with a sessional instructor knows how awkward it is trying to squeeze into those shoebox-offices, how unhelpful those 10-minute appointment slots can be, and how sad it…
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DEAR PEAKIE: Talking washrooms, wash-outs, and narcissism
February 4, 2020Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Dear Peakie, Do I absorb Jeff Bezos' worth if I eat him or does everything stay the same? From, Didn’t Get a Scholarship This Term • • • Dear Didn't Get a Scholarship This Term, I…
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CONFESSIONALS: I’m an abandoned microwave
February 4, 2020Written by Kelly Chia, Features Editor Life at SFU isn’t easy. It’s not the humdrum grey and red that gets you, but the illusion that you might be different. That you’re the cool one. Then year after year, you lose.…
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Mount Burnabus: Rise of the SFU Olympians
February 3, 2020Written by Juztin Bello, Madeleine Chan, Kelly Chia, Gabrielle McLaren, and Zach Siddiqui If you read the Percy Jackson books, then you know that the twelve Olympian gods of Greek lore travel wherever the flame of civilization goes. The flame…
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Your weekly SFU horoscopes: Feb 3–Feb 9
February 3, 2020Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Aries — March 21–April 19 This week, some might call you an evil-hearted monster for spilling the tea to your seminar section about which of your classmates have been skipping class to go underwater…
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Your weekly SFU horoscopes: Jan 27–Feb 2
January 29, 2020Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Aries — March 21–April 19 This week, you’re tempted to drop projects that have no fruitful end in sight — for example, your annoying friends. Resist the impulse. Your long-term investments will pay off;…
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SFU invites students to Feral Coyote Therapy
January 29, 2020Written by Maxwell Gawlick, Peak Associate After the great success of the school’s recent Dog Therapy sessions, SFU’s Health & Counselling Services is bringing the initiative back this winter — albeit with a cheaper alternative. By laying out a variety…
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From brutalist to boo-talist: SFU turns Robert C. Brown Hall into a year-round haunted house
January 29, 2020Written by Meera Eragoda, Staff Writer In a move to facilitate easy fundraising, SFU has decided to turn Robert C. Brown Hall (RCB) into a year-round haunted house. After much discussion on where to hold their new money-making attraction, SFU…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]