HUMOUR
Your weekly SFU horoscopes: June 22–28
June 22, 2020Written by Paige Riding, News Writer Aries: You’re like the sticker on a window warning about the installed security system inside. Sure, you’re intimidating and all, but that “more bark than bite” cliché resonates more loudly than the alarm that will start ringing despite your tough-looking façade. Taurus: You may know where your childhood stuffies and toys went, but do you ever wonder what happened to your favourite childhood dishes? That Elmo plastic plate was there for you from the start. And what did you do? You let it slip away after hucking Cheerios everywhere. Typical Taurus. Gemini: You may…
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Student opens up about unwinding from tedious household chores through tedious Animal Crossing chores
June 21, 2020Written by Paige Riding, News Writer Paul, an SFU student used to living with two roommates in a bachelor pad during the school year, found his life flipped upside down when ordered to fly home in the wake of the…
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Top 5 alluring fragrances to wear on Zoom
June 18, 2020Written by Michelle Young, Staff Writer What the hell does “Zoom casual” mean? We’re all still figuring it out. As we put on our best dress shirts and pajama bottoms, we’ve been neglecting something very important: our aroma. Yes, no…
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My dreamy pen pal, [email protected]
June 18, 2020Written by Hannah Davis, Peak Associate Anon To: [email protected] CC: [email protected] Subject: seeking… a friend? I am very lonely. Dear mailer-daemon, Here I am, shouting into the void, reaching out to a nonexistent email address in hopes of hearing from…
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Your weekly SFU horoscopes: June 15–21
June 15, 2020Written by Paige Riding, News Writer Aries: This week may be stressful for you, Aries. Try meditating now so that later you can really enunciate your not-so-passive aggressive comments. Better yet, try slam poetry. Your yelling will go over great…
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I’ve become my tarot deck’s puppet
June 15, 2020Written by Molly Lorette, SFU Student Ever since I bought my first tarot deck, my fate has been sealed. “One card wouldn’t hurt,” I told myself. I pulled out a card, The Devil. Later that very same day, Karen asked…
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“You will not BELIEVE what my 5-year old succulent did today!”: a plant mommy blog
June 9, 2020By: Hannah Davis, Peak Associate Hey fellow Succies! I hope you like that name I’ve coined for all you fellow plant mommies! Wow! Today has been a stressful week. My succulent turned 5-years old and the house was in chaos…
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CONFESSIONAL: I just can’t stop ending Zoom calls!
June 9, 2020By: Madeleine Chan, Staff Writer It started a few months ago, when everything ended. Face-to-face interaction, that is. I thought it was finally over, that I was free from the paralyzing prison of others’ eyes and the mortifying ordeal of…
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Your weekly SFU horoscopes: June 8–14
June 9, 2020By: Paige Riding, News Writer Aries: What is with your urge to fight everyone around you? Sure, you’re the shark in an ocean of guppies and all, but don’t forget the Finding Nemo mantra: fish are friends, not food. I…
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Man texts “I miss you” to favourite public washroom, promises to hang out soon
June 9, 2020Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor PORT MOODY, BC — On Saturday, Walter Tangke, a sociology major at SFU, decided to take a moment to check on his favourite public washroom over text message. “Miss ur porcelain [sic],” he typed.…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
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For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]