HUMOUR
I HATE YOU. UNSINCERLY, YOUR LAPTOP’S KEYBOARD
November 11, 2025By: Veronica Richards, SFU Student Every day, I curse that I was born as a plebeian laptop keyboard! If only I could’ve been a bougie mechanical with 18 different components and satisfying clicky sounds . . . (click, click, click). Instead, I’m stuck with YOU. You keyboard abuser. You pathetic student. What must it be like to feel sunlight on my keycaps instead of being haphazardly shoved in a backpack? Of course, the phone keyboard gets to go to all the fun places, like concerts, but I only get to see the world when you’re frantically typing on the bus…
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The Convocation Games
November 11, 2025By: Tribute from District Academia The day the reaping email arrived, the clouds over Burnaby brooded deeper than usual. A message was broadcast to every graduating student from the registrar’s office: “Each graduate shall receive two tickets for the ceremony.…
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A Peak through the archives: Judging past humour pieces
November 11, 2025By: Heidi Kwok, Humour Expert Did you know that The Peak wasn’t always funny? Gasp, you say. Oh, but it’s true. It wasn’t until the first humour section, “Nifty Pages,” graced us with its presence on January 12, 1998, that…
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Two songs that played as a soundtrack to my embarrassing life
November 11, 2025By: Noeka Nimmervoll, Staff Diva Dear Diary, I can’t lie, life has been wild recently. I don’t know what’s going on with the universe — I think Mercury is definitely in retrograde. Either that, or the universe has developed a…
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My journey infiltrating the country of Islam
November 11, 2025By: Zainab Salam, Sand Excavator Mission report: Desert Day 1 Subject: Bringing Civilization™ to the so-called Orient. “Girl, we going to Islam?” That is what I asked my adjutant upon dismounting the camel. He nodded gravely. Neither of us knew…
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The Steve Chronigulls
November 11, 2025By: Lucaiah Smith-Miodownik The Peak recently interviewed Steve C. Gull, a local screenwriter and seagull who lives in the reflecting pond. We decided to check back in with the avian creative and see how he’s been since we last spoke.…
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Asbestos speak out against heartless renoviction from the library
November 11, 2025By: Heidi Kwok, asbestos tenant advocate Over the summer, SFU’s asbestos community was served a notice to vacate the fifth floor of the W.A.C. Bennett Library on the Burnaby campus. This eviction coincides with the reopening of the floor on…
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When university completely changes that person you avoided in high school
November 10, 2025By: Katie Walkley, Peak Associate Some people never change. Some people make it seem like they’ve changed, but it’s actually a disguise that they horrifyingly switch out of when they think they’re alone. The other day, I met the latter.…
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The Peak investigates: The SFU Pisser
November 10, 2025By: The Humour Investigator As I sat at my cubicle in The Peak office, all I could think about was what I used to be. When I was a News Writer, I investigated crime on campus . . . and…
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Inmate blames prison time on éclair shortage
November 10, 2025By: Noeka Nimmervoll, Staff Writer My university life was garbage. Except for that time of the day when I’d find myself in front of my favourite place, Café Pour Moi — where heaven meets my mouth, where I’d get my…
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