Fake Opinions
Coca-Cola angrily responds to SFU’s switch to Pepsi
EIC October 1, 2012Coca-Cola airs out grievances in an emotional letter to the university that jilted the carbonated drink. By Coca-Cola Are you fucking kidding me? A phone call? That’s how you decide to end our contract? After eight blissfully contractually obligated years of service, eight faithful years as your sole soft drink provider, you suddenly decide to end it and all I get is a voicemail at three in the morning. “We at SFU think you’re really great, but currently feel that the services provided Coca Cola do not accurately represent the soda dispensing needs of students and staff on campus. This…
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Porn apparently counts as cheating: Girlfriend
EIC June 25, 2012By Will Ross BURNABY — In a shocking and controversial proclamation, my girlfriend of two years, Beverly Mandel, has announced that the viewing of pornography during a relationship is tantamount to cheating. The decree was made following an unfortunate episode…
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Guys, I know I’m the hottest TA at SFU, but you need to stop masturbating during tutorial
EIC May 28, 2012By Pamela Berman Okay, then, moving on, who can tell me the significance of the Canadian Radio League in establishing the CBC? Anyone? No? Did anyone do the readings last night? Look, I know it’s getting close to midterms, but…
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