A day in the life of a killer clown

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October 24, 2016

5:30 a.m.

I awake, startled. The rampant thumping of my heart is hard against my chest. I clutch the collar of my ragged T-shirt, finding it damp. My heartbeat grows quicker, my breathing growing harsher as the cool air swirls around the edge of my lips.

What the fuck, Martha? I glower at the peaceful figure beside me. Her legs spoon around what could have been my backside, but is instead the skillfully gripped covers of the polka-dotted duvet comforter dual pack I bought at Pottery Barn two weeks ago. I sigh — she does this all the time. I always wake up cold.

Carefully, I reach over her hip and grip the blanket softly. Martha stirs, bringing her knees up to her chest and the blanket along with her. I sigh again, the subtle curve of her thigh resting on top of the blanket putting a smile to my face. I love you, Double M.

I glance at the clock.

The dull blue light illuminates the hands at just after 6 a.m., and I figure it would be reckless to fall back asleep now. I’ll practice my contour in the bathroom. I recently bought a new nose — it’s latex-coated, so real fancy, not the foam shit — and I’ve been dying to experiment using it with purple rings around my eyes. It would be a new look for me.

***

6:30 a.m.

“GOOD MORNIN’ PUDDIN’,” I hear Martha slam her fist down on the Harley Quinn alarm clock I bought her last month. A loud groan comes from the bedroom, and soon enough my beautiful wife in all her morning glory appears at the top of the stairs.

“Morning A,” she sighs sleepily, grogginess in her throat, and kisses me on the forehead. “Is Billy up yet?”

“Don’t think so, Double M.” I flip my egg. “Should probably wake him soon.”

“OK, Papa A.” She vanishes back up the stairs. “You still have some purple on your face, by the way.”

Martha and I have been married for five years now, and we’ve been together for 10 years prior. I met her during the annual clown slaughtering in Nebraska — we were both young clowns then. Nobody could ever truly make me laugh the way Martha can when she cut open the stomachs of Republicans and cuddled their intestines beneath her bosom.

They didn’t call her Mad Martha for nothing.

***

7:00 a.m.

She enters the room trailing after Billy, our three-year-old son. Every morning, Billy eats Lucky Charms with chocolate milk and asks me about being a clown. Today is no different.

He spoons a scoop of cereal into his mouth. “Daddy, will you go clowning today?”

“Yes, I will. Lots of goofy business to attend to!” I teased, sticking my tongue out while pulling on my ears.

The three of us always eat breakfast together. Usually I leave early, but today I can enjoy watching Martha make pancakes and Billy kick the table while he eats. Simple pleasures. I reach over and honk on Billy’s nose, making gurgling noises. He seems to enjoy it.

“Daddy, you’re so cool!” Billy exclaims, laughing. “One day, I’m going to be the funniest, most greatest clown alive!”

I pause. I take my hand off his nose.

“Right, Dad?”

Softly, I reach to cup the side of his face, letting it slowly caress his poor, ignorant cheek.

“Right?”

“No Billy,” I say. “I’m the greatest clown alive.”

Fuck you, Billy.

***

12:00 p.m.

I work as an accountant on weekdays. It’s definitely a cushy job. Keeps my family happy. Our finances are stable enough for me to buy a puppy, but I refrain because Martha’s allergic and there’s no way my “clown hound” is going to be some hypoallergenic yorkie.

There’s a guy in our group, he works where I work too, and he has a German Shepherd that he brings out some nights. Guy’s name is Raj and he’s real cool, but he’s single so he probably has like five other cool dogs. Damn, Raj.

I have a bunch of clients that I see from 9 to 12, but I never deprive myself of a break. Clowns need to maintain their sanity, and I usually spend my break with Raj, engaging in discourse about It the Clown and Molly from The Big Comfy Couch. He’s away today, though, prepping for tonight.

I get a text from him as I sip my raspberry Vitamin Water.

“YOU READY, BIG A?” it reads in all capitals, with six fruit emojis next to it.

I send back a banana. I am ready.

***

4:00 p.m.

I always sneak off to the basement-level washroom just before my shift ends. Everyone thinks I just go home early, but really, I’m finally living.

I put on my new nose, inhale, and let the scent of latex rubber fill my nostrils. After, I sweep purple Ben Nye face paint across my eyes, making large circles. On special occasions, I like to draw my lips a bit larger than usual, with the corners arching upwards.

I strip myself of my tired, mundane grey suit and replace it with my all-time favourite yellow, baggy, clown garb. It has bright pink and blue polka dots and a worn lace collar.

I was wed in this suit.

I glance at my watch.

It’s time.

***

5:30 p.m.

Every Thursday, we wear yellow and hide out in the forest behind the high school. Only two or three of us go at a time, but today, I decide that we should bring the whole gang. There’s six of us in total, and we’re here to get business done.

We spend the entire week making suspicious inferences around the forest — a red shoe here, a line of rainbow handkerchiefs there — to make sure people stay on their toes. Thursday is when it all pays off.

Mr. Balderon drives down to his place, through the forest, to meet up with Miss Amelia. That’s their business, not mine. Raj keeps track of our next target’s whereabouts.

Why Mr. Balderon, you ask?

Two weeks ago, I wanted the last can of condensed milk from Superstore.

Two weeks ago, he took that from me.

Today, I take his life.

***

5:45 p.m.

Raj and Beatrice breathe quietly beside me. Raj is sporting some Victorian clown chic, and I’m a little disappointed in Beatrice. She’s not even wearing yellow today.

Mr. Balderon’s car turns the corner, and I creep slowly out of the trees and into the middle of the road. His car stops, and through the fog and headlights, I see Mr. Balderon take out his cell phone.

We like media coverage, and when I see the little light of the cell phone flash turn on, I start to creep closer. Raj and Beatrice swoop in beside me, and we lurk eerily on the outside windows of his car, the rest of our gang moving in closer as well.

I smash the front window, the glass crashing down on Mr. Balderon’s face, tiny scratches ooze red liquid all over his face and arms. I wait for him to scream as I draw my squeaky chicken toy (I DIY’d it so that a blade was coming out of his mouth) from my pouch.

He screams. I laugh. Raj’s German Shepherd bites his balls.

***

8:00 p.m.

Billy is just getting ready for bed.

“Did you have fun today, Daddy?” he asks. “Did you perform any cool tricks?”

“Yes, Billy!” I greet him, throwing him up in the air and holding him close. He fingerprints the wall behind him with the blood from my chest. “I always perform the coolest tricks.”

How to die first in a horror film in 10 easy steps

By

EIC

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October 24, 2016

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By: Vincent Justin Mitra, Peak Associat

Let’s say you find yourself inside a horror movie. I know, right? So annoying! There’s the fear, the shouting, the hiding, and additionally, your clothes will be all sweaty and gross from running — it’s super inconvenient. You’re busy! You’ve got tests to ace, video games to play; you want to watch movies, not be in them. So here are some tips on how to die first in a horror movie — so you can get back to the rest of your day.

Investigate that noise

Go ahead, check out the rustling bush. Strangely inhuman voice beckoning you from an alley? Kid singing a nursery rhyme quietly in a playground alone at night? Footsteps in your house when no one else is home? Go for it! Eyes closed, head first, can’t lose!
Read the LatinIf you see a creepy book, grab it! Insist on being the first to read it and read the weirdest passage on whatever page you open it to. Be sure to read it out loud — especially if it’s in Latin. Make something up if you like; as long as it sounds super creepy, you’ll be well on your way. Knowledge is power, and hopefully that power has a hunger for human flesh. Your human flesh. Fingers crossed!
Pick up that artefact!
Did you find an amulet? A weird statuette? A fist-sized stone covered with engraved runes and sticky from fresh human blood? Pick it up. Pick it up right now, and just rub it all over your face. Get as much of that nasty, evil, magical whatever on yourself as you possibly can. Maybe desecrate a grave or something.
Be meanFind the nearest nerd and shove them into a locker. Ask someone out to prom and then dump a bunch of pig blood on them. Shout at a puppy. If you can convince the killer that you’re an irredeemable prick, they will likely move you to the very top of their list.
Drop your glassesA classic. Just let your glasses fall on the ground and then proceed to crawl around on the floor in an attempt find them. Simple! Pro tip: they don’t even have to be real glasses. Actors use fake ones all the time. This actually makes it easier because you can avoid accidentally finding them. If you hear the crunch of someone stepping on them, then you’re already halfway there!
Lean up against windows, doors, and thin wallsIf your group is in a room that feels too safe, don’t worry! Subtly position yourself with your back up against a window, a door, or anything similar. You’ll be stabbed or yanked through to the other side in no time!
Separate from the groupThere is safety in numbers, so reduce your number to one. Stumble around in the dark. Run through the woods in heels. Turn corners without looking. What I’m saying is that you’ve got a lot of options.
Be a minority
Harness the power of inherently racist constructs that minimize the value and visibility of racial and ethnic minorities by the largely unquestioned mainstream media industry to work in your favour!
Don’t have a name
Whether you grew up being called “Tall Barista” or “Student #5” or even “Elevator Scientist,” you’ve got the upper hand already. If you have a weird name based on something you do or what you look like then you can ride that gravy train all the way to the grave. Relax! You’ve got this.
SexGuaranteed to work. If there’s something all horror movie killers have in common, it’s that they’re total prudes. Dim the lights, put on some music, and you and your partner will be in for some premature exsanguination.

COMIC: MYSTIC MAN 22— A Villianous Halloween

By

EIC

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October 24, 2016

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World News Beat

By

EIC

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October 24, 2016

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Iraq

ISIL: Iraqi forces started battle to retake Mosul from Islamic State

According to Peshmerga military commanders, the battle to recapture the Islamic State of Iraq and Levant (ISIL) stronghold on Mosul could take two months. ISIL militants overran Mosul in June 2014, before taking control of other cities in northern and western Iraq. The long-awaited battle to liberate Iraq’s second city with a coalition of Iraqi personnel, Kurdish fighters, Sunni tribesmen, and Shia paramilitary forces, began advancing on October 17. It is estimated that there are between 5,000 and 7,000 ISIL fighters remaining in Mosul, with roughly one million civilians whose safety remains at serious risk.

With files from CNN

USA

US election: Melania Trump said Donald’s accusers are telling “lies”

Melania Trump defended her husband as a “gentleman,” accusing the women who have alleged he sexually assaulted them of being liars. She also defended his bragging to TV host Billy Bush about groping women, which was caught on videotape, as “boy talk.” Mrs. Trump condemned the comments as unacceptable, but not representative of the man she knows. She added that “he was led on — like, egged on — from the host to say dirty and bad stuff.” Several women have made accusations of sexual assault against Mr. Trump, all of which he has denied.

With files from Reuters

UK

UK Brexit update: Another Scottish independence referendum?

Scotland’s first minister, Nicola Sturgeon, has drafted a bill that sets out plans for a second independence referendum. Although the UK voted to leave the European Union, Scotland voted to stay in, with 62 percent of the population voting “remain.” The draft bill has been published, but Scottish Parliament would still need to give approval on a referendum. Sturgeon said Scotland has the right to choose “a different path” if it doesn’t get the deal it wants, claiming that a second referendum is “highly likely.”

With files from BBC

Five fun, fright-less horror films

By

EIC

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October 24, 2016

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nonspookycollage_arts — Who says you need to get spooked to enjoy halloween?

It is the most spooktacular time of the year, ghosts and ghouls. During a time full of clowns, hockey-masked serial killers, and monsters haunting your dreams, is any couch safe from these horrors? Can you even celebrate Halloween cinema without needing to leave the lights all on while you hold a knife under your pillow? Yes. Put down the knife and dim those lights, because I am here to help you.

Below is a list of the best Halloween movies of all time that aren’t defined by gore and fear.

Hocus Pocus

This is the best Halloween movie of any genre.

It follows the journey of Max, a young virgin who resurrects Salem’s Sanderson Sisters: three witches who survive and maintain their vanity from ingesting the lives of children. Max, his little sister Dani, and his love interest Allison have to survive zombies, graveyards, spells, hypnotic music, and their own teenage stupidity. This movie has action, drama, music, and a talking cat, as well Sarah Jessica Parker and Bette Midler.

Watch this.

Halloweentown (1–4)

These movies follow a young witch named Marnie through her training to become a witch, and her travels between the mortal world and Halloweentown. The movies have everything you could want from a Disney made-for-TV movie: teen romance, monsters, villains, high school drama, magic, and some early-2000s fashion.

If you don’t have time to watch them all (but you should make the time): The third is the best as it shows how monsters would manage in the human world. The fourth has all the drama and struggles of witch college. The second shows the hardships of young love and magic. But if you’re looking for some classic cheese, go with the first.

Twitches, and Twitches Too

The series follows twins separated at birth and their very different lifestyles. The two meet and at every touch something goes magically wrong. Guardians — who were responsible for separating them at birth — identify themselves and notify the twin witches that their magical dimension is in dire peril and they need to save it. The witches, while trying to balance their style and regular human lives, are also balancing banishing an evil smoky force called the Darkness. The movies feature sass, class conflict, and the struggles of bi-dimensional travel.

Casper Meets Wendy

Hilary Duff and a ghost — need I say more?

It is a comedic look at the usually hostile relationship between witches and ghosts. A lot of adult humour is interspersed with the joyful antics of a young Duff and her ectoplasmic friend as the two races come together to overthrow an evil warlock.

Double, Double, Toil and Trouble

If you are a child of the ’90s, this is the movie for you. It follows the young Olsen twins who are fighting to find their good witch aunt. Goblins, clowns, a dog, and magicians help them on their way. The two discover their own powers as they take on an evil witch to release their aunt from a looking glass.

Now grab your candy corn, caramel apples, a gummy spider or two, and have a marathon. Halloween does not have to fill you with fear, though it does have to fill you with fun. Be safe, check your candy, and don’t talk to clowns.

The scariest people in sports

By

EIC

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October 24, 2016

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6925793922_2dedd656fc_o-1 — He'll knock you out and bite your ear off.

Every once in a while, an athlete comes along who frankly scares the shit out of you. The type of athlete that makes you feel lucky to just be a spectator, watching from the sidelines. In the spirit of Halloween, here are some of the scariest people in the sports world.

Mike Tyson

No list would be complete without Iron Mike himself. As an amateur, Tyson once knocked out an opponent in just eight seconds. Once he became a professional, Tyson won his first 19 fights with knockouts — 12 of those were in the first round. However, his most terrifying moment came in 1997, when he literally bit a part of Evander Holyfield’s ear during a fight. He also said once after a match that he would rip Lennox Lewis’ heart out and eat his children. If that doesn’t scream unstable, I don’t know what does.

Mike Ricci

Ricci is on this list not because of what he did, because he had a pretty solid NHL career. He played for 17 seasons and over 1,000 games, and even won the Stanley Cup with the Colorado Avalanche in 1996. No, he’s on here because of how he looks. I mean, just look up a picture of him. The combination of busted up nose, greasy long hair, and no front teeth makes him look like the human equivalent of a goblin. I wouldn’t be surprised if his post-hockey career was as a banker at Gringotts.

Gilbert Arenas

You do not want to be in a locker room with this dude. On Christmas Eve 2009, Arenas was caught with unloaded firearms in the Washington Wizards locker room. It was later revealed that this was a result of an argument he was having with teammate Javaris Crittenton over some gambling debts. He was promptly suspended for the rest of the season, but not before making fun of the whole situation by pretending to shoot his teammates in a pregame introduction. He’s also admitted to running 60 red lights in a four-month period by using dealership plates, so maybe you don’t want to be in a car with him either.

Scott Stevens

Probably the most-feared hitter in NHL history, Stevens made a career from bone-crushing open ice hits. At 6’2” and just over 200 pounds, he wasn’t the biggest defenceman, but he could body check like nobody’s business. Ask Paul Kariya, who was the recipient of a hit during the 2003 Stanley Cup Finals that knocked him out cold. But perhaps his most well-known hit was delivered on Eric Lindros in the 2000 Eastern Conference Finals, a hit so vicious that it effectively ended Lindros’ career.

SFU team competes in Zurich in Cyborg Olympics

By

EIC

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October 24, 2016

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[dropcap]S[/dropcap]FU researchers were tested on the world stage on October 8 at ETH Zurich’s Cybathlon — the first ever Cyborg Olympics.

The researchers’ bionic arm, which was developed to act as a more intuitive prosthetic arm for amputees, competed with the world’s best cyborg inventions. This inspired the innovators, and fostered a deeper passion for creating better technology to serve those with disabilities.

Their intricate bionic arm was created to give amputees an easier-to-use prosthetic option, as many individuals were simply avoiding prosthetics due to their unintuitive user interface.The team worked with Danny Letain, a paralympic skier who lost his arm 35 years ago. He helped to test the bionic arm and improve the lack of control that he experienced with previous prosthetics, such as the use of mechanical straps and hooks in order to use the arm, SFU University Communications reported.

Erina Cho and Chakaveh Ahmadizadeh, members of the research and development team, explained that they decided to address this problem by creating an arm that uses muscle movement, pattern recognition, and pressure sensors to differentiate between gestures and create a more intuitive user interface for a prosthetic arm.

Media outlets, as well as those participating in the Cybathlon, have been fascinated with this invention. “It just goes to show how much people really care about helping others and how people with disabilities should have their quality of life improved,” Cho explained. “So I think that we took [the attention] as a really good thing.”

The event brought even more attention to the invention, and the high-pressure environment made for an unexpected outcome. Ahmadizadeh elaborated that, “when it came to the competition, there are many factors we didn’t expect to encounter.” They had rehearsed extensively prior to the competition, yet Cho said that “there are a lot of effects on the competition stage where you have a lot of adrenaline and psychological factors where the physiology of the body reacts differently — and we rely on those signals.” The team mentioned that the difficulties they had were due to the physiological response to stress. The arm relies on these physiological responses, and the team had not practiced using the arm in such a high-stress situation, like the competition environment.

Though the competition did not go as planned for the group, it only inspired momentum to make the bionic arm even better. “It was really inspirational — it just gave us another thing to work on!” Cho said.

The other amazing cyborg inventions also acted as a source of inspiration. “It was really neat to see that there were groups from other countries, other research groups have other ideas to tackle the problem. Same with other disciplines — there are ones with wheelchairs and exoskeletons,” said Cho.

“Overall, it’s a really positive experience. We are all making an effort, it’s all research and development.”

Marc-Antoine Rouleau goes the distance

By

EIC

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October 24, 2016

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marc_cmyk — Rouleau finished sixth in the 1,500-metre national final last season.

Transferring from one school to another can be a difficult process for any student. Now add the fact that you are transferring not only from a different school, but to a different collegiate league, and you get a sense of what Marc-Antoine Rouleau had to go through. However, he has become one of the top performers on his team, and expectations are high heading into his final year.

“I heard about the amazing team they had here, and I had a good option to really explore my potential and see where I could go with running,” said Rouleau on his decision to come to Simon Fraser University from the University of Sherbrooke. “So I need[ed] to try the West Coast and really avoid the winter in Quebec. That was a big part.”

Besides the comparatively moderate winters, Rouleau was also drawn to the fact that SFU plays in the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA).

“In the NCAA, you get to go to California every weekend, and you get those amazing opportunities. [. . .] The other aspect of the NCAA is you have a lot of races and a lot of opportunities to race competitively compared to the CIS [Canadian Interuniversity Sport], where you’re going to train for two months on your own and really do one big race at the end of the season to see how fit you really are. But in the NCAA, you race to get fitter.”

He has certainly adjusted to life in the NCAA. Last year in track and field, he made it to the national championship in the 1,500-metre and finished sixth. The year before, he made it to the nationals as well, finishing 17th.

“It was amazing,” he said on making the national championships two years in a row. “I was really disappointed [the first year] because I was just not used to a type of race where you start slow and start to get going with one lap to go.

“This year, I think me and Brit [Townsend, head coach], we just managed everything differently, and it went really well and worked out in the final. We practiced our speed and our kick to really react with those top guys at the end and be up there until the finish line.”

The 1,500-metre is a different race than most. Unlike, for example, the 100-metre, which is all about pure speed, the 1,500 requires strategy and being able to pace yourself through three and a quarter laps.

“The first lap you have to stay focused, and really go through and realize that you’re going to have to be efficient the whole way and be fluid,” Rouleau explained. “And then the second lap you get through the motion of getting fast, and it’s pretty easy because you’re not even midway. And then the third lap, that’s when it gets harder because that’s where you can really start to lose focus and you start to go slower and you won’t be in a good position to react with the top guys. And the last lap is the last lap — you have to go no matter what.”

Like the vast majority of runners, Rouleau also competes on the cross country team, even though he sees himself as more of a “track and field guy.” Nevertheless, he relishes the team-based aspect of cross country.

“It’s totally different, because in cross country the top five will mark points,” he said. “So you don’t really care who’s going to be in the top five, you just want anyone on that day to step up and get out there and do the
best they can.”

A senior, Rouleau is entering his final year of competition. After his collegiate career, he has aspirations of turning pro, depending on how the upcoming season goes. However, Rouleau has some advice for incoming student athletes on how to make the most of their time at SFU.

“I would tell them to enjoy the journey,” he said. “Especially in the first few years, because that’s where you make some amazing new friends that you can have all your collegiate career.

“When you get to your fourth or fifth year, that’s when you can decide if you really want to go forward with your running, or any sport you do.”

Fun Fact: Halloween costume this year?

“Probably a pirate. I really love the theme.”

Champions League midpoint review

By

EIC

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October 24, 2016

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6963686495_6e8f884d12_o — Lionel Messi put in arguably the performance of the tournament so far with three goals against Manchester City.

We’re three out of six games through this season’s Champions League, and as always the excitement has been present in every group. For the most part, the solid contenders have been doing their part, but there have been some outsiders who have risen to the occasion.

Group A looks done and dusted for the most part, with Arsenal and Paris Saint-Germain (PSG) tied on seven, and Basel and Ludogorets both six points behind. All that’s left to decide is whether the lads from London can take top spot, or a Zlatan Ibrahimovic-less PSG will win the group.

Group B has the only team with a Canadian player in the starting lineup, Besiktas. The player in question is Atiba Hutchinson, and he has helped his side reach second place in the group. But with Napoli and Benfica in the group as well, it will be a tall task to qualify for the next round.

Group C has had the most dominant team in the tournament by a mile with Barcelona, which has scored 13 goals and let in just one in three wins. The team’s most recent victory was a 4–0 thrashing of Manchester City, which is managed by one of Barcelona’s previous coaches, Pep Guardiola. Manchester City will have its work cut out for them just to get out of the group, as the team will most likely need at least a draw with German side Borussia Monchengladbach.

Atletico Madrid’s seen as a team with a rock-solid defence and an efficient offence, and the team is living up to that with three 1–0 wins in group D.
A tight win against Bayern Munich showed the team is once again one of the main contenders for the title.

The tightest and most even is group E, with first and last place only separated by three points. This group has Tottenham, Monaco, Bayer 04 Leverkusen, and CSKA Moscow. With all of the games ending either in draws or one-goal wins, it’s anyone’s guess how the final standings will pan out.

Last year’s champion, Real Madrid, is in group F, along with Borussia Dortmund, Sporting Lisbon, and Legia Warsaw. Madrid and Dortmund are both on seven points and four points ahead of third place, so barring a shocking collapse they
should both be safe into the next round. Sporting Lisbon looks primed to take the Europa League spot. Legia Warsaw would definitely be happy with even just a single point in the next three games, considering the team’s last outing
in the Champions League was
21 years ago.

Group G has last year’s English Premier League Cinderella squad, Leicester City. Though Leicester’s league form has been a shadow of what the team showed the previous season, they’ve been very successful in the Champions League, with three wins out of three. One more victory would send the team into the next round, and with the unpredictable nature of the knock phase, who knows how far it could go?

Group H is led by 2015 runner-up, Juventus, which is once again proving its defensive skill by not letting in a goal in three games. The team should qualify out, leaving a battle for second between Europa League champs Sevilla and Lyon.

Personal Shopper drags the audience into a fog of angst

By

EIC

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October 24, 2016

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Personal Shopper is classified as a horror movie, but the scariest part wasn’t the ghost. It was the malaise the audience was left with at the conclusion of the film.

My initial response was that it was a horrible film, because it left me feeling confused and disappointed. There was a lot going on, and the many threads of plot were never resolved. Indeed, it was greatly unsatisfying not getting any resolution. In the end, though, things did come together for me.

Personal Shopper follows Maureen (Kristen Stewart), an American in Paris working as a personal shopper for a celebrity. Maureen also happens to be a medium. While she can’t directly talk to spirits, she has a self-proclaimed “awareness of their vibe.” Throughout the film, she tries to contact her twin brother, who recently died of a heart defect that she also has.

She doesn’t really like her job, but she doesn’t really want to do anything else. She doesn’t like who she is, but she doesn’t know who she wants to be. In this existential limbo, the only conviction Maureen seems to have is her desire to get in touch with her brother. Then again, she isn’t certain she will be able to get in contact with him, or that there even is an afterlife.

After watching this movie, the only thing I could confidently assert was that Stewart’s character is steeped in uncertainty. One of the most confusing parts of the movie was a sequence of shots in a hotel: an elevator door opening and closing, and a sliding door opening and closing. It was as if someone was leaving the hotel, with the camera following them as they walked out, except that there was no one there! The implication being that a ghost was leaving — I think. Immediately after, the same sequence of shots were played, but this time one of the characters was included in the sequence, walking out.

This was one of the most jarring moments in the film, which also makes it one of the most pivotal for me. Were there literally both a ghost and this man leaving, or did the writer mean it as a statement that “it doesn’t matter what happened” or that “it’s up to personal interpretation”? I think it was just meant to show that we really don’t know what happened. As unsatisfying as that is, there is no answer.

Other audience members seemed to be frustrated. When the credits started, I heard a bunch of WTFs. This was my gut reaction too, but ultimately I felt this film accomplished what it was supposed to. Lack of answers or closure, confusion, disappointment — this is exactly what the main character experiences in the film. She was looking for answers to metaphysical questions about the afterlife. She was looking for closure after her brother’s death, to know whether he was at peace.

At the end, she doesn’t gain the understanding she had hoped for. So if my feelings after watching this film were meant to parallel the feeling of the main character, then this movie was a huge success.