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Roommate swears he should have more beers left in fridge

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THE TOWNHOUSES — SFU student, Bill Ryan, told reporters Monday that he strongly believes he should have more beers left in his fridge.

His claim was made according to his rough estimates of how much he drank this weekend, and how much he now has left. Foul play is suspected.

While Bill claims to have bought two cases on Friday, he now only has seven beers left, a nearly 86% decrease.

“I won’t even have enough to get drunk again this week, I’ll have to go out again and get more, it’s very sad,” he told the press. “I know my roommates were short on beer before the weekend started, and I don’t think they bought any more.”

He also let reporters know that he doesn’t mind when his roommates drink his beer, as long as they replace it, although his roommates were quick to discredit his claims.

“He’s a drunk,” remarked roommate, Jason Boyce. “He was blackout drunk Friday and Saturday, and then Sunday when we got back from the bar he accidently left lasagne in the microwave for 80 minutes and passed out in the shower with his clothes on, so what does that tell you?”

His roommates went on to comment that Bill could have easily drank the 41 beers over the weekend. “He doesn’t puke, he’s got a stomach of steel” explained his other roommate Andrew Wagner, justifying the claims.

When Bill was informed about his roommates’ comments about his stomach, though flattered, he insisted “that still doesn’t change the facts.”

“The beer consumed would have totalled about 14 beers a night,” Bill explained, perplexed, “and that’s just the pre-drink, everyone knows it’s at the bar where I really get down to business, there’s just no way I could have done that.”

DTES residents are people before they’re ‘mentally-ill’

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Natasha Wahid’s column’s last instalment “When a Fire starts to burn” shows the exact disdain towards the Downtown Eastside that is responsible for it being stigmatized and avoided. It shows the same attitude that made us try to hide it from the world’s eyes in 2010.

When I read its description of “homeless people, junkies, mentally ill lurching about” on transit, I thought it was a tongue-in-cheek satire of the holier-than-thou attitude towards the neighbourhood. I waited to get to the point where this attitude was craftily torn down to reveal what the neighbourhood really is, where we get to the heart of the Downtown Eastside. But it never came.

Instead, those that realize there’s something drastically wrong with our city, specifically with the systemic issues that have created this neighbourhood, one being the attitude that creates and victimizes the “homeless people, junkies, and mentally ill,” are berated for “protest[ing] and crusad[ing] for the rights of Downtown Eastsiders without ever really seeing them.”

On the contrary, those that protest and crusade are not doing so for the rights of “Downtown Eastsiders,” but for the basic human rights that simply aren’t extended to the residents of the area. In fact, many residents are themselves crusading for their own rights.

Organizations such as Pivot Legal Society work side by side with the people they are fighting for. The SROs, the police brutality, the horrifying poverty, the untreated mental illness, the survival sex work, the addictions that beat down the individuals living this life are nothing compared to the stigma placed upon them by people that share the attitudes of this column.

Her article enlightens us that the “Downtown Eastsiders” are humans too. But I’d even go so far as to deconstruct them into individuals: “Downtown Eastsiders” are families, students, seniors, artists, and poets. I lived off of East Hastings until recently; so to me, they’re also neighbours.

The addictions that beat down the individuals living this life are nothing compared to the stigma of this column.

Rather than the “Downtown Eastsiders” feeling shame, those that look at individuals as “junkies” instead of people that have experienced traumas that we, in our high towers of privilege, cannot imagine: hearing these stories, of losing everybody they have ever loved, or being victimized by everyone they had trusted, I am inspired by the resilience of those that manage to drag themselves  from day-to-day, despite disability and daily victimization.

The Hope in the Shadows campaign, for which members of the area are given cameras to portray their community, gives a perfect example of what this neighbourhood is made of: yes, addicts, the mentally ill, the homeless, but also so much more.

The area is all of these people making what they can of life, the beauty in relationships, in families, and in art, often despite losing everything else; it is the Heart of the City festival that showcases the artistic vision of the neighbourhood’s residents; it is Carnegie Community Centre, whose steps really are the centre of community.

So, as touching as it is to hear that a presumed crack addict can have friends just like us clean and upstanding folk, as admirable as it is that the author is realizing that her own comfort and privilege are not shared by all, as much as I would love to read more about how the “junkies” are people, too.

I feel compelled to say that this column does not speak for all of “us,” that the residents of the Downtown Eastside do not need more stigmatization, and to entreat all that choose to write about the Downtown Eastside – or any marginalized area or group – to first be more versed with the topic, because you may be doing more harm than good.

Album Reviews: Arcade Fire, Los Campesinos!, and a throwback to Lou Reed

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Arcade Fire – Reflektor

I’ve listened to Reflektor, the new album by Montreal’s flagship indie rock orchestra, at least eight times since it was released only a few days ago. I have no regrets. Like many of the albums that have influenced the LP, Reflektor is the sort of record that justifies the existence of the repeat button.

Messy, loose, and deeply flawed, the group’s newest LP is not only their most difficult to pin down — it’s also their best work since their seminal debut Funeral almost a decade ago.

Though the record has received its fair share of acclaim, detractors have cited the LP’s lack of coherence, knee jerk genre experiments, superficial concept and fluctuating tone. To be fair, each of these criticisms carry weight — most egregiously, the story of Orpheus and Eurydice is periodically referenced throughout Reflektor, but never really integrated into the album’s DNA.

However, Arcade Fire’s promiscuous musicality and unhinged performances are the album’s greatest strength. The Suburbs, the group’s previous album and an unexpected Best Album Grammy winner, was heavily conceptual and obsessively micromanaged, whereas Reflektor sprawls and breathes, content to try its hand at disco, dub, electro-pop and chanson with little regard for the expectations that weighed heavy on the record’s release.

The beauty of Reflektor as a listening experience is in catching the tiny inconsistencies, singing along to the seemingly improvised harmonies, and trying to fit together the pieces of the album’s Kierkegaardian themes.

There’s plenty of stock footage Arcade Fire here to enjoy: raucous pop songs, crescendo-core ballads and heartstring-tugging suites are all in supply, each supplemented by a self-aware swing and touches of producer James Murphy’s signature sound that manage to charm rather than alienate.

Though this isn’t the album to upset Funeral’s place atop the Arcade Fire podium, Reflektor is still an extraordinary, unfettered work of art, and one that seems to come at exactly the right time.

 

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Los Campesinos! – No Blues

Los Campesinos! make music for teenagers. It’s what they’re good at — from their blithesomely cynical debut Hold On Now, Youngster… to the fast-paced angst of Romance is Boring, the Welsh sextet has excelled at creating catchy, clever and heavily referential indie pop that appeals to the above-average intelligentsia of suburban high schools.

Their fifth LP, No Blues, is a return to form after 2011’s lethargic Hello Sadness, which felt like a calculated attempt to “mature” the band’s sound through sour lyrics and suffocated production. On the contrary, this record is the band’s most elated and likeable effort since their first — and best — albums. Sure, the lyrics are as abstruse as ever, and self-indulgent enough to make Morrissey blush.

However, Los Campesinos! are still one of the best indie pop acts around, and with No Blues, they mean to make sure that no one forgets it.

Though the ten tracks on the group’s latest still lean towards their cardigan-clad Holden Caulfield demographic, older listeners are sure to find something to enjoy, or at least appreciate, here. The six members of Los Campesinos! imbue each song with so much energy and enthusiasm, it’s hard not to get wrapped up in the spirit of the whole affair — even if some of their turns of phrase are a little too on the nose.

Musically, the group hasn’t evolved much in the half decade since their genesis: frenetic drums, sprechgesang vocal accompaniment, an occasional keyboard earworm. There are mopey ballads, unabashed pop numbers, self-aware rock and rollers, and even a hint of hip-hop influence.

Though some listeners might argue that No Blues is nothing new for the band, to me it seems that this record is long overdue — a back-to-basics effort that’s far from groundbreaking, but offers a breath of fresh air to fans who’ve been longing for the band’s glory days.

 

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Throwback: Lou Reed – Metal Machine Music

Metal Machine Music is awful. To listen to the album — over an hour of aimless electronic sludge, split across four indistinct parts — is to win a war against your senses. Each minute of the record is filled with so much dissonance, distortion and harsh, polarizing noise that completing the record feels like some kind of achievement, although its creator Lou Reed would disagree: he once quipped, “anyone who gets to side four is dumber than I am.”

In the aftermath of Lou Reed’s recent death, it’s strange to reflect on this record, one which many consider the inarguable nadir of his creative output. Though it was released to universal critical malign, it sold fairly well — probably to well-meaning Transformer fans looking for another series of upbeat glam rock numbers. Nowadays, the album has its fans: when Reed found a touring band willing to perform the album live back in 2010, all of his shows sold out.

In the liner notes, Reed claimed that he had invented heavy metal. Though this claim is often cited as evidence that the record was an elaborate joke, it’s hard not to feel the devil-may-care energy of Metal Machine Music in punk, noise rock and industrial music.

The record itself might be better off judged as a statement, anyway: it was released during a period of tension in Reed’s creative career and at the tail end of a strained recording contract with RCA. The thought of Reed handing in the master tape of Metal Machine Music, tailor-made to be as offensive and unmarketable as possible, is as indicative of his nature as any of his performances.

An artist is only as good as his worst album, and Metal Machine Music is so bad, it’s legendary. It’s been discussed and analyzed to the point of overshadowing some of Reed’s best work — is it a joke? Is it a message? Is it a masterpiece? All that we do know is that it’s enough to fry your eardrums, and make you wonder what the hell Lou was thinking.

Rest in peace, you beautiful bastard.

S.F. Brew knows good beer

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On Saturday, Oct. 26, S.F. Brew, the Simon Fraser brewing club, met up with brUBC — their cross-town counterpart — at Deep Cove Brewers and Distillers in North Vancouver for the first Annual University Home Brew Awards Party.

The party was both a celebration and an awards ceremony, the culmination of a friendly competition, as each club had submitted several home brews for judgement earlier in the week. The atmosphere was merry at Deep Cove as members from each club milled about, chatting and tasting each others’ submissions.

Daniel Collins, managing director at Hops Connect, a grower, procurer, and distributor of hops throughout Canada, explained how the idea for a university home brew competition was hatched, aptly, over drinks.

“It kind of came out of a few beers, a conversation with a couple of us [from Hops Connect] and the guys from Deep Cove, said Collins; “We just decided we could do something fun here with the homebrew scene by taking two of the university clubs and putting them together and creating what eventually became the Hops Connect Cup.”

He continued, “Originally, we reached out to UBC, who we were already selling hops to regularly for a lot of their brews anyway . . . then we started searching around, [asking,] well, who else has a brew club, and the first one we found, aside from UBC of course, was S.F. Brew.”

According to S.F. Brew vice president, Natasha Peiskar, the club just recently got re-started. After attending a meeting last year, Peiskar decided to take on S.F. Brew’s social media and, through Twitter, got connected with Vancouver’s burgeoning craft beer community.

 

The idea for a university home brew competition was hatched, aptly, over drinks.

 

“At Vancouver Craft Beer Week, Daniel from Hops Connect approached me and said, ‘What do you think about doing a SFU vs. UBC home brewing competition?’ And I was like, ‘Yeah! Let’s do it! . . . Oh no, I have no idea what I’m doing,’” recalled Peiskar with a grin.

Once committed to the competition, S.F. Brew had to reconnect with its members, many of whom had lost interest due to the club’s general inactivity. Club executives organized several learn-to-home-brew sessions, made their presence known at Clubs Days, rounded up new recruits with a range of home-brew experience, and started brewing up a storm. Their efforts paid off; S.F. Brew members submitted 14 entries to the six category competition and swept brUBC.

The panel of Hops Connect Cup judges was made up of local brewers, three from Deep Cove, the owner of Four Winds Brewing, the brewmaster from Bomber Brewing, and Collins from Hops Connect. The judges used a points-system based on standard criteria to score each brew: appearance, aroma, flavour, and overall thoughts and feelings about each beer. S.F. Brew won in five of the six categories and had a higher overall score, garnering them the Hops Connect Cup.

 

“It’d be awesome to have our own space at SFU so we could brew up [there].”

-Kyle Middleton, S. F. Brew social committee director

 

Peiskar’s IPA, Hop-A-Rella, was the bell of the ball, winning the IPA category as well as Best in Show. “The beer is called Hop-A-Rella because a couple of girls brewed it,” laughed Peiskar. “Honestly, people might not appreciate this, but it was the first beer we ever brewed.”

It’s a first-attempt that won big, as the prize for Best in Show is a commercial brew of 12,000 litres; Hops Connect will supply the hops, Deep Cove Brewery will supply the space, and Deep Cove brewmaster, Kevin Emms, will help Peiskar scale her home-brew recipe. Production is to take place early next year.

Post-competition, S.F. Brew executives have high hopes for the future of the club. “It’d be awesome to have our own space at SFU so we could brew up [there]. I’m so jealous of UBC – they talk about how they have this huge refrigerator full of beers and every Sunday they have someone transferring a beer over . . . I hope SFU does that one day,” said social committee director, Kyle Middleton.

With over 250 new student sign-ups this fall and between 50 and 70 active club members, it doesn’t look like S.F. Brew will be drying up any time soon.

SIX UBC campus assaults believed to be connected

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Vancouver — The RCMP are now investigating six reported sexual assaults that occurred on UBC’s campus over the past over the past seven months. They believe one suspect is responsible for all six assaults.

At a press conference last Tuesday hosted by UBC and the RCMP, Sgt. Peter Thiessen of the Lower Mainland RCMP said an additional sexual assault occurred early Sunday morning, when a young woman was walking alone from Gage Residence on Student Union Boulevard around 1:30 a.m.

He also said RCMP are now including two sexual assaults reported in April and May in the investigation. The Ubyssey also reported a seventh assault last week, which has not been reported to police to date.

“These attacks seem to be crimes of opportunity, where the suspect is specifically targeting lone females in secluded areas,” Thiessen said. One journalist at the press conference pointed out that the attack this weekend happened while many additional security measures were in place.

“UBC is a city within a city, so it’s no different policing here than it would be policing in a large metropolitan city,” Thiessen said. “Our resources can’t be everywhere all the time.”

Thiessen said the Major Crimes Unit of the RCMP has the capacity to provide as many resources as necessary to investigate the assaults.

The RCMP have also increased patrols at UBC, and have engaged other units including the RCMP Bike Patrol, Lower Mainland District Integrated Police Dog Services and the Lower Mainland District Integrated Emergency Response Team.

Behavioural scientists, criminal and geographic profilers are also working on the case, alongside crime analysts, forensic artists and operational psychologists. The RCMP are also coordinating with the Vancouver Police Department.

The RCMP are also using tools like the Violent Crime Linkage Analysis System, a national computer program that looks for links to previously identified suspects. A composite sketch of the suspect is being created.

“I don’t recall a similar set of circumstances at a university or educational campus in this province,” Thiessen said. He also explained that the RCMP would have special strategies in place for Halloween night last Thursday, but would not give specific details.

The current description of the suspect the RCMP are working with is a Caucasian male with a slightly darker or olive skin tone. He is possibly tanned, and is in his mid- to late 20s or early 30s. The suspect has a thin build and is somewhere between 5-foot-8 and 6-foot-2. He has a long, round chin and face, a straight nose, a broad forehead and short, dark hair.

 

“I don’t recall a similar set of circumstances at a university or educational campus in this province.”

Sgt. Peter Thiessen,
Lower Mainland RCMP

 

This weekend, the RCMP knocked on hundreds of residence doors on campus and spoke to 300 people to get additional information on the assaults. RCMP have received 30–40 tips from the public and they are following up on all of them, Thiessen said.

“We urge anyone with information, however insignificant it may seem, to contact their local police department. You may have noticed something . . . that could potentially lead to identifying a suspect or [the] location of where that person may be,” said Thiessen.

UBC President Stephen Toope released a letter today about the recent assaults. “I am grateful to the RCMP who have made this a top priority,” he wrote. “Their investigation is critical to restoring the safety of our campus.

“In the days to come, until the alleged perpetrator is apprehended, I ask you to be extra vigilant,” Toope wrote. “The ultimate choice is yours, but the RCMP [are] advising you not to walk alone after dark.”

UBC VP Students Louise Cowin also announced that the university is increasing security at campus residences. Starting tonight, one male and one female security guard will be patrolling each residence. There is also a new service called Rezwalk, which will escort students from residence Commonsblocks back to actual residence buildings.

Cowin said UBC is also ramping up access to UBC counselling services, “This is a time to rally support for one another, look out for each other and stand up against sexual violence,” said Cowin.

Anyone with information about the attacks is asked to call the BC RCMP Major Crimes Section’s tip line at 778-290-5291 or toll free at 1-877-543-4822.

For healthier shellfish, add lime

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With oceans quickly acidifying due to carbon dioxide emissions, aquaculture farmers face a serious threat to the health of calcifying sea organisms like crabs, clams, mussels and shellfish that we enjoy at the dinner table.

“It’s becoming harder and harder for these organisms to build their calcium carbonate shells in larval stages because there are fewer free carbonate ions in acidic seawater,” explained SFU environmental sciences graduate student Carolyn Duckham.

Duckham has discovered however that the missing carbonate ions can be restored by adding hydrated lime, an inexpensive, abundant compound that increases pH and could neutralize acidic seawater. During a two week long experiment, Duckham found that shellfish larvae growing in limed water — where the pH is at 7.65, close to pre-industrial levels — grew significantly larger shells than those in acidic seawater.

“However, we found no impact — positive or negative — on shellfish survival or the level of deformities in larvae with the use of hydrated lime,” says Duckham. “But, its use does help them grow. And when you look at other research, you see that those that grow bigger tend to do better.”

It seems natural to extrapolate these results and assume that liming the whole ocean would be feasible and effective — but, Duckham explained, this is not the case. “You’d have to add so much lime into the ocean to do that. It would ramp up the pH and take years to circulate around the ocean, so from that aspect, it’s only useful [at the hatchery level].”

In the future, she notes, carbon dioxide emissions and water acidity in nature will likely increase until shells begin dissolving into seawater. Though other studies indicate that hatchery shellfish are more resilient to ocean acidification than wild shellfish, scientists are still raising concern over their general ability to adapt to these harsher conditions.

“I think the fear for most scientists is that environmental change is occurring so fast, and we don’t know if these organisms can adapt quickly enough,” said Duckham.

Similar acidification reversal strategies are already in place in East Coast aquaculture to control invasive tunicates. Duckham’s strategy is soon to be tested by the Center of Shellfish Research on a hatchery-wide scale — this will involve larger sample sizes and tests on different species of shellfish than her lab tests.

“In some ways, my method is a temporary, bandaid solution,” concluded Duckham. “But for now, these findings could really help the shellfish industry until we figure out what we’re going to do about the world’s fossil fuel emissions.”

SFU: home to Canada’s only civilian hypobaric chamber

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SFU is offering certified divers and pilots the opportunity to experience first-hand the effects of nitrogen narcosis and hypoxia, in Canada’s only civilian research hyper/hypobaric chamber. The project, led by Sherri Ferguson, director of the environmental medicine and physiology unit (EMPU) at SFU, is delving into the effects these have on people.

Nitrogen narcosis is a condition that divers experience as a result of breathing at increasing pressure. “By the time they reach 100 feet, the partial pressures of nitrogen cause a euphoric feeling,” explained Ferguson. “Eventually, if deep enough, it can lead to hallucinations, potentially convulsions and unconsciousness.”

At a much higher elevation, mountain climbers and pilots are also at risk of hypoxia, as the air they are breathing at high altitudes may not supply enough oxygen to the brain.  “At high altitude . . . the symptoms are similar to narcosis in that there is impairment and often an unrecognizable impairment” Ferguson explained.

Pilots of pressurized aircraft are at higher risk because at very high altitudes, between 25,000 to 30,000 feet. Ferguson said, “If they were to lose cabin pressure . . . within three to five minutes they are no longer able to make useful decisions.”

To simulate these extreme conditions and allow those at risk to experience the effects of hypoxia — which causes a dazed, drunken sensation — the Burnaby campus lab is equipped with two chambers, one of top of the other. The top chamber is used for hypoxia and the lower one for nitrogen narcosis, and may accommodate up to six people at a time. The upper chamber is kept dry, while the lower chamber can be filled with up to 2,500 gallons of fresh water.

 

“If [a pilot] were to lose cabin pressure . . . within three to five minutes they are no longer able to make useful decisions.”

-Sherri Ferguson,
director, Environmental Medicine and Physiology Unit

 

Participants trying out the chambers so far have feature a range of different groups within the aviation and diving community. “The high altitude is being used by flight schools and airlines are training their pilots to high altitude and hypoxia awareness,” said Ferguson. “We are open to certified divers but many dive shops and dive clubs are booking us right now.”

The common citizen needs a diving certificate to book sessions in the chamber, , while pilots or flight students are ableto book through their airline or flight school. The increasing popularity of the opportunity has resulted in an expansion of the research linked to use of the chamber.

The chamber may also play host to clinical trials involving hypobaric oxygen.  Ferguson explained: “Breathing the oxygen under pressure is a form of medicine as well . . . There are 14 indicators that physicians will treat in a [hypobaric] chamber.” Injuries such as burns, carbon dioxide poisoning, diabetic ulcers, radiation narcosis and non-healing wounds may be treated using a hypobaric chamber.

The project is also open to a new area of research involving pressurized, hypobaric oxygen in the possible treatment of children with autism or people with Crohn’s disease. This new interest stems from reports by operators of hypobaric chambers not overseen by physicians on the effects on people suffering from these diseases.

“Some of the research that we do in here is to do proper, randomized, controlled, clinical trials, so we can look and see whether or not that [treatment] is effective,” said Ferguson. The healing process of some of these indicators is still a mystery, as it is done in the process of narcosis in the brain.

Looking forward, a researcher from the US Navy is set to start work with Sherri Ferguson and her unit next year to explore the effect of hypobaric treatment on the brain and stroke victims in particular.

Ferguson concluded, “If we can understand the mechanism more then we can maybe expand what we use it for . . . I would really like to see in brain neurons what is happening under pressure.”

Gone Home is an immersive experience

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In terms of video games, Gone Home may be one of the best told stories of the year. Exceptional writing and a reliance on players wanting to explore helps to uncover a story about childhood and love. While other games thrust the narrative upon the player, Gone Home distances itself from those titles, allowing the player to discover as much (or as little) of the story as he or she wants.

The premise for Gone Home is extremely basic: set in 1995, Katie has just come home from travelling Europe and arrives to find that no one is there to greet her. It is completely up to the player to discover all the nuances of the plot, or to just follow the main story involving Katie’s sister, Sam. The empty house setting aids Gone Home in presenting itself as a creepy game, and it left me in a constant state of unease as the house creaks or lights flicker to craft a unique and chilling atmosphere.

The amount of time spent playing Gone Home will fluctuate between players, as they explore the house’s many secrets, pilfer through every clickable item and thoroughly analyze the painstaking detail put into each object. There are some puzzles to solve that involve finding codes to locks, but otherwise, the game is about immersion.

That immersion wound up lasting for just under two hours for me, but with no hand-holding, the game allows you to take your time before you proceed with the rest of the story. Even after reaching the end of the main plotline, the player still has the option to go back and discover more side stories.

All the stories are brought to life through hand-written letters and messy rooms that allude to the different characters’ emotions at the time. Personality is prominently displayed in select rooms — such as Katie’s dad’s office and Sam’s room — which subtley hints at the plot.

Unfortunately, the immersion is broken at times by some sound design choices. When a plate hits the ground, it sounds exactly like any other falling object. There are also long stretches of silence and a recycled thunder sound effect that will abruptly cut in every now and then. That abruptness works to frighten, but at times it harms the atmosphere.

Regardless of any problems, Gone Home is an incredibly engaging experience that proves how powerful and emotional storytelling can be in video games. Available on Steam now, its minimalist approach to gameplay, short length, and attention to detail make it a game worth sitting down and devoting a couple of uninterrupted hours to; preferably with the lights down and headphones on.

University Briefs

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2010 Underwear Affair

University of Winnipeg opens Muslim prayer room

The University of Winnipeg has recently opened a place for Muslim students to pray. The Masjid, a Muslim prayer room, is the product of a collaboration between the university’s student association and the Muslim student association, and is located in the university’s Wesley Hall Basement. Muslims pray six times a day during Ramadan, and five times a day the rest of the year. University officials commented that the Masjid was established not only as a place for students to pray, but to encourage intercultural dialogue between students.

With files from CBC

 

U of T is falling down

Due to excessive maintenance deferral, the University of Toronto falls short of structural standards. Just this past August, attention was called to the severity of the issue when the ceiling of the Graduate Students’ Union building collapsed on the main lobby. Brad Evoy, the internal commissioner for the GSU, remarked upon the collapse, saying “We weren’t expecting it — no one had noticed there was an issue with the ceiling at the time, from our side or the university’s.” In a 2012 Deferred Maintenance report it was estimated that the university is behind over $484 million in maintenance fees and would have to spend $19 million a year to maintain its current conditions.

With files from The Varsity

 

STU goes “Trick-or-Eating”

For Halloween, St. Thomas University participated in the national event, Trick-or-Eat. This entails dressing up and going door-to-door, but not for candy. STU students collected non-perishable food donations for charity, allowing them to participate in the childhood Halloween experience while giving back to their community.

The goal of Ben Lord, the organizer of the event, was to collect 1,000 lbs of food. He met his goal three times over, as over 3,000 pounds of food was donated. After the event, Lord said, “The amount of food raised was nothing short of phenomenal.” The proceeds of the event were divided, with 70 per cent going to the Fredericton food bank and 30 per cent to STU’s campus food bank.

With files from The New Brunswick Beacon

Midterm literally destroys student

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BLUSSON HALL — With midterm season well underway for most of SFU’s undergraduate population, many students are feeling the pressure of looming exam dates. However, none of them know said pressure better than second year Psychology major, Stewart Terry. Terry, 19, announced via Facebook that his midterm had “literally destroyed him.”

The news that Terry had been actually dismantled by an examination came as a shock to many of his friends and family. His classmate, Matthew Everette, told The Peak, “At first I, of course, thought he had meant it figuratively. However, once I saw that he had added ‘literally’ into the post, I was shocked. Completely shocked.”

When asked if there was any way that Terry could have used the phrase for emphasis instead of to describe something that had happened in actuality, he added, “There is literally no way that someone this far into a university degree would make that mistake.”

The instructor of the course, Professor Elroy Dwight, was equally distraught at the news. He described it to The Peak as a “tragedy” that a nearly grown man could be just utterly decimated at the figurative hands of an inanimate piece of paper containing questions that were covered to an extensive degree in his class.

“That being said,” Dwight added, “I did do that thing where you have, like, one thing that could be right, one thing that is probably right, one thing you’ve never heard of, and then all of the above and none of the above . . . that definitely could have done it come to think of it.”

Though nobody has actually checked on the well-being of Terry, it would be completely inhumane to expect someone to witness the husk of a man who had been actually destroyed. The Peak can only imagine that it would involve something completely beyond the descriptive powers of written word.