Humour
Lana Del Rey’s hologram to headline Fall Kickoff
July 24, 2025By: Mason Mattu, Humour Editor Picture this: Lana Del Rey, singing Chemtrails Over The Country Club, frantically flying over an audience, and waving her arms like a fairy all at the same time. At first, you think, “Goddamn. What an iconic show.” Her body is see-through, radiant, and emits a green light. You knew Lana was ethereal, but didn’t know she was this perfect. Then, you squint. Your eyes think…
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The OneBC party is here to stop Comrade Rustad
July 23, 2025By: Yildiz Subuk, Staff Writer The leader of the BC Conservative party, John Rustad, has recently lost the plot. He seems to be suppressing the Conservative party’s freedom of speech by not letting members make mockeries out of the trauma…
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Dig, Baby Dig: SFU’s bold economic and educational plan
July 21, 2025By: Corbett Gildersleve, News Writer Inspired by the rapid passing of BC’s Bill 15: The Infrastructure Projects Act, and the federal Bill C-5: One Canadian Economy Act, SFU has unveiled a new innovative direction for the university titled “Dig, Baby…
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SFU vs. UBC: The renewed rivalry
July 14, 2025By: Katie Walkley, Peak Associate It was still light out at 8:32 p.m., and I felt unstoppable. I’m not proud of what I did, but it had to be done. I revived the rivalry between SFU and UBC. I’d been…
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SFU’s cheery campus renovation hoax
July 14, 2025By: Sarah Sorochuk, Peak Associate SFU’s summer semester has been absolutely thrilling. From the koi pond being evacuated, sucked dry, and refilled to loitering chairs from convocation, to even an abundance of high school graduations, there is never a dull…
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CONFESSIONAL: I “pay it forward” in the drive-thru to gain aura points
July 14, 2025By: Noeka Nimmervoll, Staff Writer Imagine you’re me. A writer, in an age of inflation and AI takeover. Like Charlotte Lucas in Pride and Prejudice, “I’ve no money, and no prospects. I’m already a burden to my parents.” With my…
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Operation grit: the hidden experiment behind your commute
July 14, 2025By: The Peak’s lead undercover journalist and Big Pedometer’s least loyal employee Our story starts on a Tuesday that felt like a Thursday — existentially, spiritually, atmospherically. A brave student (name classified, as she’s currently in hiding from TransLink and…
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STATEMENT: Prime Minister Carney explains why he invited Modi to the G7 Summit
July 10, 2025By: Mark Carney, Prime Minister of Canada OTTAWA — My fellow Canadians. It ‘tis I, Big Daddy Mark Carney, here. India is run like a well-cooked roti by Narendra Modi, who is apparently a fascist. But there is obviously some…
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Gossip Peakie: The messiah, not-so-hot frat bros, and squirrels
July 9, 2025By: Gossip Peakie Hey Burnaby Mountain dwellers. Gossip Peakie here, your one and only source for all the hot goss you’re trying to shove off the edge of this mountain. Did you really think one blog was enough to expose…
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A call for revolution (and moving sidewalks) at blusson hall
July 7, 2025By: Katie Walkley, Peak Associate HEAR YE, HEAR YE! SFU storm bringers, we have gone on too long walking immeasurable distances from class to class. We are made to feel like hobbits trekking to Mount Doom when we should be…
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