The cost of Rent is too high

Written by Tom Pankratz, Drama Teacher Listen, I know you guys were all jazzed about doing Rent this year but we just can’t afford to...

Culturally insensitive jack-o’-lanterns to avoid this Halloween

Of course we all know that Halloween is a fun time to get together and have good wholesome fun. Kids get to go out...

Stuff We Hate: Vaguely Halloween-Related Edition

The Class Zombie You know that guy? Yes, that guy, because let’s be honest here; it’s only guys who do it.  The guy who sits...

Due to tough economy, local creeps set to just give out razor blades

BURNABY — Feeling the strains of the current economic situation, ‘evil strangers’ across the entire lower mainland are reportedly not going to be able...

Man can’t believe he’s the only one who wishes there was a “Halloween with the Kranks”

THE INTERNET — A man who goes by the username “krankaddict1” on the popular online movie and superficiality website, IMDB, was shocked to discover...

Where are they now?

Ever wonder what happened to those (HALLOWEEN-RELATED) celebrities who were everywhere back then, but have since fallen off the face of the earth? Well,...

Woman accused of witchcraft demands right to a fair burning

YE OLD BURNABY — A local woman accused of witchcrafting around campus has reportedly announced that she deserves a thorough, detailed and fair burning...

A Year of Touring with the Rolling Stones

  2008. For a lot of people this might just be a year like any other year. Or maybe it seems like an arbitrary combination...

Embarrassed Earth claims latest earthquake was just “seismic event”

PHILIPPINES — People across the world were shocked last week by reports that Earth had been struck by yet another devastating earthquake but according...

UBC signs exclusive textbook deal with ‘For Dummies’ Books

VANCOUVER — It’s been kept under wraps for weeks but last Friday SFU’s rival post-secondary institution announced that they have made a landmark, first-of-its...