Cryptid Spotlight: It’s Never Toi-late to Find THE Toilet!

By: Suraj Raj, SFU Student Today’s exploration in Cryptid Spotlight takes a turn toward the sewers. Isn’t it difficult being a student with an 8:00...

Eight things brewing in your barista’s brain

By: Gem Yelin Lee, Copy Editor There are things customers who have never worked in a café will probably not know. Among these include the...

Confessionals: I look at episode summaries of shows I say I’ll watch

By: Showstopper Dearly beloved, sinners, and worse, drivers in downtown Vancouver, I come to this sacred space to confess another crime. It has taken me...

Choose your own adventure: A date with McFogg

By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor INTRO: You came to Simon Fraser University to engage yourself in many different disciplines. You didn’t expect that you could possibly...

BREAKING: Lost Welcome Leader Found in the Depths of RCB

By: Hannah Kazemi, Staff Writer Raccoon News was informed of a developing story at SFU’s Burnaby Mountain campus this afternoon. The authorities arrived at SFU...

The Adult(erating) side of Sesame Street

By: Hannah Kazemi, Staff Writer, Extremely Apologetic Yet another classic cartoon is getting a makeover by the CW. This time, Sesame Street gets weird. Elmo...

A scorned letter to the 143

By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor Dear . . . Hah, you could never be dear again, so hell-o 143, You may not remember me, but I...

Horoscopes Oct 10th–Oct 16th

By: Kelly Chia, reader of the Stars and fanfiction Aries: Take literary inspiration and dress up as a scarlet “A” this year, as in Scarlet Letter....

Top five ways to hide a pandemic

By: Michelle Young, Editor-in-Chief COVID-19 was declared a pandemic in 2020, but we’re over it now. It’s too much hassle and we’ve decided to...

Local student disappointed that icebreakers don’t involve actual ice (and other literal disappointments)

By: Clarence Ndabahwerize, Staff Writer VANCOUVER — A student showed up to an icebreaker at the Goldcorp Centre for the Arts with an ice pick...