By: Kelly Chia, Staff Writer
What’s up, blessed folks? It’s me, Jason. You know me: I’m everywhere, man. I’m at Tim Horton’s meeting Tim Horton himself. I’m in your classroom lifting up the dumbbells of Kant philosophy. I ascend everywhere I go. People are always asking me, “Jason! How do I step to the next level?”
I have to be honest: it all comes down to the home, man. What you see at home, is what you see in your mind. So what does your Shangri-La look like, bro?
The boys and I have been talking and meditating on this one a lot recently. So in the spirit of the New Year and opportunity to awaken our inner beast mode, I want to share with you some tips to keep your home simple and peaceful. Allow me, Jason, to help you, reader, flow like a bee, sting when necessary, and drink the honeyed nectar that we call the present or whatever. Lets dig in dudes.
Our Little Spoon
Let’s start in your kitchen. If you know me, you know the boys and I are really close. We spot each other at the gym, and in our hearts, bro. So when we stopped by IKEA last week after seeing our 500 sq ft apartment for the first time, we realized something. We did not vibe with all the forks, knives, and spoons, or whatever in the store. It’s so much drama. We’re all the same dude, dude. Why can’t we use a single utensil in harmony?
So we got a single wooden spoon to share among the five of us. That wooden spoon is like our bond. Unbreakable. Versatile. Gains a little bit of flavour with each dish — each memory. It represents the grind, dude. It makes me tear up a little when I think about it.
Tip: Jason is not afraid of feelings. Embrace the unknown.
Truly Living in the Living Room
I have to admit: the boys and I aren’t very liquid. We may have freed our minds, but not our wallets. Things like sofas? They’re expensive, dudes. But you know what is free? Generosity, my friends.
The boys and I found this sofa with character down in the junk heap when we were feeling out the vibe of the apartment parking lot. It spoke to us immediately: that mauve leather with patches of springs coming out of it? That’s built-in massage features right there. The rats? New friends! Yeah, it may smell a little, but it’s nothing a positive outlook and some Windex wipes can’t fix!
If you’re not as lucky, I’d keep praying. The grind will reward you one day. Before we had our couch — whom we lovingly refer to as “Couchie,” the boys and I had set up blankets on top of folding chairs, with ten-pound dumbbells posted at each corner. We all sat underneath the blankets, and would meditate on the importance of friendship. Because that’s what the living room is all about. Even if you have no couch, you have each other, bro.
Tip: Never underestimate the power of prayer when you are searching for furniture.
In the Mind
This is my most important tip. My top secret. My wisdom à la life. Your most important sanctuary? That’s you, king. I’m talking about your mind palace. You gotta find the best place in you before you can find the best place out there, alright? That means you treat yourself right, bro. Your body is a temple, so you gotta treat it first before you grind out in the world.When I lie in bed under my Andrew Garfield Spider-Man bedspread, I like to think about who the best Jason is. Everyday, I feel as though I am pummeled by expectations to be the best bro I can be. You know what my mind palace tells me? I already am the best bro I can be.
Yeah, dudes. That’s how you take it to the next level. That’s how you get to your inner Mecca. You gotta have these conversations with yourself, see your space as sacred. Who cares if your mind palace is decorated with 2021 Space Jam posters? It makes you happy!
Tip: You’re the only one that can take 100% of the shots, bro. You gotta believe, like Jason believes in you.
Well bro, I am grateful that you have shared this journey of life with me. It was brief, but effervescent. You’re breathtaking, bro. You just gotta elevate your space.
Kisses and crunches,
Jason 😤💪
