Written by: Kelly Chai, Staff writer
Illustration by:
Not sure whether to toss or keep those notes? Want to walk out into the summer with a new look, but your wallet protests? Not to worry: we’ll show you how to make three different accessories using your old notes and textbooks that will transform your sad grades into some elegant accessories.
Norton Textbook Choker
You will need:
- A Norton edition English textbook (it doesn’t matter which one, they’re all enormous)
- A pair of scissors as dull as your attitude when you bought the aforementioned textbook
- The tears saved from when you found most of your readings as pdf files
Those quarter-ply-thin pages, responsible for making you sick at the phrase “romantic literature,” looks much better on you as a choker than it feels as the chokehold pressure of late-night essay deadlines.
Start your healing process by tearing pages from your Norton textbook. You’ll soon realize that you are stripping money, and you’ll start treating those cruel pages with a little more reverence. After that, respectfully take your scissors and cut small strips from the pages that you did not read.
Soon, you will accumulate a few hundred pages’ worth of strips. Braid your strips to soothe your anger. Using your organic tears as glue, attach one end of the braid to the other end.
Your new choker will provoke unsolicited discussions of whether Romeo is indeed the Shakespearean fuckboy. That’s even better than the money you could have gotten reselling this!
Colour-Coded Flower Crown
You will need:
- The notes from your last final
- Some nearly dead highlighters
- The rewardless roll-up rims from your Tim Horton’s cups
- Some coffee/tea
-Optional- - Dilute coffee grounds with tears (is an exam complete without any?)
You deserve a welcome to the summer worthy of the Greek gods after the hell you’ve just gone through. Wave to those lost in the river Styx — AKA students in exam season -— with this accessory.
Begin by twisting and glueing the rims of your cups together with ground coffee. Once you’ve strung together enough rims that they can wrap around your head, tie the ends of the mega-rim together. Next, stain your crown with coffee or tea. You want just a little — nothing like the ungodly amount of caffeine that you had while studying.
After that, take your notes and dye them with your own tears, which by now, pour out of your eyes in a wide rainbow of highlighter shades. Get creative! You didn’t read these notes anyway, so saturated it with blinding, au naturel highlighter! Now, tear your notes into strips and fold them into spirals to form roses. Using some wet ground coffee, attach your notes to the coffee crown.
The unholy trinity of studying, crying, and caffeine have reunited to give thoughts and prayers to you. Just maybe, your creative embodiment of Demeter will score you some points in your HUM 102 exam.
Coupon Scrunchie:
You will need:
- Your mailbox coupons — cover your bases with all the fast food places
- An elastic band as flexible as a first-year’s course schedule
- A smidge of the tears saved in your wallet
We love a functional and cute accessory. This will win you the envy and admiration of your classmates, who will share those sweet two-for-one deals with you.
Start by cutting your coupons into short strips, arranging your coupons into short strips, layering them on top of each other. You want the contrast of McDonald’s and Church’s Chicken coupons to give it that pop of colour (and some diversity in your diet!).
Once you’re satisfied with how it looks, dab some tears, shed in honour of what you saved by skipping out on Steve’s Poke Bar this week, on the edges of the coupons. Line these edges with the elastic, and you’re ready to rock and roll!
Sport this on your wrist or in your ponytail. You may now lead our esteemed student body as The Ruler Of Coupons, ready to spare an A&W deal for any poor soul.
