Comedic Poetry: A year in three acts

Illustrated by Cora Fu

By: Hannah Davis

FALL

Today is the day
First day back to classes
And I know I’m going to do it
I will kick these classes’ asses.

Now in my first lecture
And the prof already lost me
She whispers when she speaks
And she only talks about Noam Chomsky.

But isn’t this a bio class
Concerning microorganisms?
And I am perpetually worried that
I’ll commit accidental plagiarism.

Technically speaking,
A major? I don’t have one.
But my mom said I will know it
When I finally find my passion.

On my way to class
And I’m running hella late
I am only 2 weeks in
And in a constant panic state.

Fall semester is the best
If the weather isn’t wet
But my books, bags, and notes are soaking
And tomorrow’s my midterm test.

The days are getting colder
And the rain, it turns to hail,
And I truly do not know if
In my finals I’ll pass or fail.

I am sobbing tears of joy because
Winter break has come anew
Then this guy tells me to “get it together” but
He doesn’t know what school put me through.

SPRING

Spring is truly glorious and
all is new and bright
But the new semester’s nearing
And my chest is feeling tight.

I now enter the bookstore,
My wallet’s filled with dread.
Hopes of treating myself to something fun
Are all now gone and dead.

I forget my classmate’s name
So I say, “Good to see you, dude,”
I nod and smile, but they know I forgot
And I assume they think I’m rude.

Where did all my money go?
I ask with Starbucks in my palm
I’m so careful with my money . . .
I’m slowly getting robbed, all semester long.

Who IS this thief? I ask myself
Looking around me, right and left,
when my gaze lands on my own reflection,
I am victim to my own theft.

SUMMER

Wow, look at all these birds,
Feel the sun’s warmth, and see green leaves!
But now I am stuck inside
Enduring semester three.

The classes feel breezier
Since I can lay out in the sun
And reading for my classes
Is almost, ALMOST, fun.

The weirdest part of summer classes
Is the campers who keep appearing
I forget I’m on a college campus
When I keep hearing little kids screeching.

I don’t know what to wear
Because not all of SFU has AC
So I wear shorts and pack a hoodie
For temperatures from 10 to 103 degrees C.

I am a sticky, sweaty person
That’s what summer teaches me.
I have to unglue my legs each time I stand up
From every plastic seat.

At the end of this I hope I get
The rewards of a degree
But for now I’m in a cycle
Fall, spring, summer, small breaks, repeat!

 

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