By: Holly French

Let’s face it — back-to-school season isn’t just for humans. Your furry, four-legged friends are headed off to obedience classes and they have their own version of soul-crushing torment to look forward to this fall! In the spirit of the season, we have compiled a 100% scientifically accurate list of the five ways that going to university is just like obedience school, so that you and your dog will have something to commiserate over together.

1) Going to school makes you appear more dignified than you actually are — while the reality is that no amount of training (or anything, really) is gonna make you stop taking naps on the kitchen floor or consuming things that most rational beings would qualify as totally inedible.

2) Treats often require far too much work for so little a reward. This may be a better deal for the puppies, however — at least dogs don’t have to put up with capitalism . . . or faulty vending machines.

3) Instructors are foolishly betting everything on you actually listening to the sit and stay commands. And not constantly getting distrac — hey, look, a squirrel!

4) After about week three, you’ve probably stopped attending classes. You know you’ve lost all hope of motivation; even your dog wants nothing to do with homework, so why should you?

5) You get a nice shiny certificate after you’re finished. Mostly for the bragging rights and a futile sense of accomplishment.