Amidst a sea of protesters and environmental activists this week, skateboarding icon Tony Hawk has publicly announced that he is in favour of the proposed half-pipeline extension through Burnaby Mountain.
If approved, the Kinder Morgan half-pipeline will be the largest outdoor skateboarding half-pipe in British Columbia and the third largest worldwide.
“I’m not supporting this half-pipeline just for me,” a teary-eyed Hawk told reporters this past Monday. “I’m supporting it for my children and for my children’s children. This half-pipeline is for future generations.”
A professional skateboarder from 1982 until his retirement in 1999, Hawk’s pro half-pipeline stance is hardly surprising, but could prove beneficial to energy giant Kinder Morgan, as opposition is ramping up and some take a neutral stance.
On November 7, SFU president Andrew Petter released a statement expressing neutrality on the issue, saying he was really “more of a rollerblades kind of guy.”
Last week the BC Supreme Court granted an injunction to Kinder Morgan to forcibly remove any skater haters or protesters who might prevent further survey work being conducted in preparation of the half-pipeline.
Strongly opposed to the half-pipeline are many environmentalist groups who worry about what impact the project will have on Burnaby Mountain’s ecosystem. Several moms have also expressed a disinterest in the project, wondering why their teenagers couldn’t find a nicer, less dangerous hobby.
“You know, his second cousin Jane broke her arm skateboarding when she was eight,” Travis Bell’s mom, who is against the half-pipeline, told reporters. “Why can’t you just read a nice book or play checkers with your sister instead of skateboarding all over the place?” she asked her son in exasperation.
While Kinder Morgan has yet to make an official statement on Hawk’s endorsement, a press release from earlier this year suggested that the half-pipeline backlash is largely unwarranted and “more of a knee-jerk reaction.”
“People see the world’s ‘half-pipeline’ and they immediately assume the worst,” said a representative from Kinder Morgan. “The reality is that they’re one of the safest means of carrying skateboarders across large distances. If you’re against half-pipelines then you’re against skateboarding. Can you live without your skateboarding? No? Then we have to invest in half-pipelines.”
“I won’t wake up tomorrow in a world completely independent from half-pipelines,” Bell’s mom retorted, “but it’s time we started investing in cleaner, safer hobbies for our children.”
That mom is an idiot.