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Study: Depression affects 10 out of 10 worthless people

A new study from a group of self-proclaimed “failure” scientists has found that 10 out of 10 waste of space human beings suffer from some sort of mental depression. This data was collected after a 12-year study in which all of these same scientists were the test subjects.

While they have not been able to explain why depression seems to be so common among so-called “pieces of trash excuses for humanity,” the scientists did say that information could probably be found by researchers who weren’t “utterly hopeless.” They also stated that decent scientists could’ve come to this conclusion after only a few hours instead of 12 years and that they should probably just go to bed and stop trying to do science. 

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CUPE Local 15 alleges Vancouver bargained in bad faith

By: Lucaiah Smith-Miodownik, News Writer A local union is alleging that the City of Vancouver did not bargain in good faith during agreements that were settled in August of last year. Instead, they claim, “the City violated the Labour Relations Code by “Intentionally withholding important information about its plans to implement far-reaching workforce reductions until after bargaining had concluded and the collective agreement had been ratified.” — Santino Scardillo, CUPE Local 15 acting president “CUPE Local 15, which represents more than 4,000 employees with the City, Park Board, and community centres,” believes that Vancouver was aware of the possibility of upcoming layoffs “as early as June 2025.”  This summer, mayor Ken Sim called for a 0% property tax increase, despite notes from city staff that a...

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