tophumour
SCARY STORIES: Vampire spotted at the Bennett Library
November 11, 2025By: Gurnoor Jhajj, SFU Student and Mason Mattu, Humour Editor It all went down before a history midterm, on the sixth floor of the library. I was going over my notes, double-fisting two coffees and an energy drink, when I felt a cold gust of wind . . . sending shivers down my spine. I looked around for the source of the gust, given the window in front of me was closed. As I went back to my work, I saw someone move from the corner of my eye. When I looked up, I saw him. A tall, pale figure…
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BEEDIE BRO: Ghosts, goblins, ghouls, and great investment opportunities
November 11, 2025By: Lucaiah Smith-Miodownik, Entrepreneur Yes, I still go trick-or-treating, just not for the candy. What a lot of people without the Beedie mindset don’t realize is that Halloween is the perfect networking opportunity. See, while everyone else is going door…
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I HATE YOU. UNSINCERLY, YOUR LAPTOP’S KEYBOARD
November 11, 2025By: Veronica Richards, SFU Student Every day, I curse that I was born as a plebeian laptop keyboard! If only I could’ve been a bougie mechanical with 18 different components and satisfying clicky sounds . . . (click, click, click).…
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The Convocation Games
November 11, 2025By: Tribute from District Academia The day the reaping email arrived, the clouds over Burnaby brooded deeper than usual. A message was broadcast to every graduating student from the registrar’s office: “Each graduate shall receive two tickets for the ceremony.…
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A Peak through the archives: Judging past humour pieces
November 11, 2025By: Heidi Kwok, Humour Expert Did you know that The Peak wasn’t always funny? Gasp, you say. Oh, but it’s true. It wasn’t until the first humour section, “Nifty Pages,” graced us with its presence on January 12, 1998, that…
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Two songs that played as a soundtrack to my embarrassing life
November 11, 2025By: Noeka Nimmervoll, Staff Diva Dear Diary, I can’t lie, life has been wild recently. I don’t know what’s going on with the universe — I think Mercury is definitely in retrograde. Either that, or the universe has developed a…
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Asbestos speak out against heartless renoviction from the library
November 11, 2025By: Heidi Kwok, asbestos tenant advocate Over the summer, SFU’s asbestos community was served a notice to vacate the fifth floor of the W.A.C. Bennett Library on the Burnaby campus. This eviction coincides with the reopening of the floor on…
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The Peak investigates: The SFU Pisser
November 10, 2025By: The Humour Investigator As I sat at my cubicle in The Peak office, all I could think about was what I used to be. When I was a News Writer, I investigated crime on campus . . . and…
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Inmate blames prison time on éclair shortage
November 10, 2025By: Noeka Nimmervoll, Staff Writer My university life was garbage. Except for that time of the day when I’d find myself in front of my favourite place, Café Pour Moi — where heaven meets my mouth, where I’d get my…
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