Sonya Janeshewski
How to not be an NPC during your first week on campus
September 6, 2026Have you ever played a video game and come across background characters who have no real purpose? These characters are called NPCs, or non-playable characters. The citizens in the Grand Theft Auto franchise roam the streets, drive, and have jobs — basically doing the same thing every day. Unproblematic? Yes. But also deeply boring! And have you ever walked the SFU hallways? Every day, along the wide, prison-like walls, one might see an endless line to Renaissance Coffee, a sea of people flooding the halls, and students on the verge of a breakdown working on assignments (cue the National Geographic…
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Robot bust-up in west mall
March 31, 2026People passing through the west mall complex were left stunned as two robots began trading blows, wreaking havoc, and endangering bystanders in a dispute over a charging port. Witnesses report that this brief altercation resulted with one robot swiftly imposing…
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Shark Bowl: The BC Conservative Party leadership race
March 16, 2026After John Rustad’s scandalous exit from leadership, the BC Conservative Party recently announced a new format for our leadership debates. Candidates will participate in a new reality TV show: Shark Bowl — BC Conservative Party Leadership Contenders. The race is…
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Does your love life need a nudge in the right direction?
February 13, 2026Have you always dreamed of a fairytale romance like the ones in the movies? That famous story of love at first sight that feels straight out of a Hallmark rom-com? I have the answer for you. Meet-cutes! Every good meet-cute…
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Peak positions: Sex tips from your student paper
February 9, 2026Tired of the same boring old stuff in the bedroom? Hoping to spice things up? Look no further. Here are The Peak’s top horizontal tango positions: The McFogg You’ve probably heard of doggy style. This one’s similar, but with a…
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Pineapples defy new pizza permission policy
January 27, 2026On Friday, Burnaby witnessed its 67th protest concerning pizza purist legislation. Bill C-XX, a provincial law restricting the allowed composition of pizza configurations to cheese and meat (Section X,xx: Only animal products and byproducts may be used to garnish, decorate,…
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Opinions in Dialogue: Christmas markets
January 13, 2026Christmas markets are a hallmark of the festive season. A staple in countries like Germany and Austria, these open-air holiday markets are, unfortunately, few and far between in Western Canada. While much smaller and not as extravagant as its European…
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The elbows up cult is ruining cooperation in Parliament
January 5, 2026In a minority government, cooperation with other parties is essential to ensure stability and unnecessary elections. Budget votes are where this cooperation becomes non-negotiable, as they are confidence votes. Which means if a majority of members of Parliament do not…
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i dream in decay
March 27, 2025this body aches for death, a cure? a resolution, like it longs to rest in the muddy embrace of a grave so that the earth may hold me as gently as my tender flesh allows. she will unbind my muscles…
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Cosmic glamour at The Birdhouse
February 13, 2025It was a cool night in January, my new boots dug into my heels and made it hard to walk straight, but I kept trudging happily on towards my beacon of light; The Birdhouse. Why? Because Man Up hosted the…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]