not getting caught

A gentlemen’s guide on what to do when caught masturbating

Let’s face it: there’s nothing more natural than masturbation. Jerking it, beating the meat, choking the chicken — fellas, the reason we have so many euphemisms for masturbation is because it’s the closest thing to a sexual art form for us. Unfortunately, one risk of masturbating is being caught in the act, so here’s a step-by-step guide for you guys out there caught with your pants down. Diffuse the Dynamite Chances are when caught in the act, you’re damn near close to ejaculation. The last thing you want to be remembered for is being that asshole who came on your…

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