Kelly Chia
Who killed the school spirit?
March 29, 2023By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor Dear students, I write about a most precarious incident at your school. There are only two crimes that happen at this institution you call home . . . real ones, and the ones that you never forget. And this one, I have not been able to stop thinking about. The greatest crime committed at Simon Fraser University? Heartbreak. [Pause for dramatic effect.] At least, that’s what I felt. My name is Simon Solves, and I am the finest detective, certified investigator of brilliant scrutiny — or BS for short! But on this foggy day, I found…
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SFU student updates: March 13 – 18
March 15, 2023By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor Deeeeeear friend (because student just sounds so . . . stiff!), OMG! Happy March, students! [Insert relevant and cute joke about the passage of time to relate to the students.] Besties, we are so sorry…
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The secret life of (sex) toys
February 14, 2023By: Hannah Banana Hammock, Staff Writer Have you ever thought about what the world would be like if sex toys could talk? Well luckily for you, I did the cursed imagining for you! The Peak kindly requests that Hannah’s mom…
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Horoscopes February 13–19
February 14, 2023By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor Aries You’re known for firin’ things up, my dear Aries. I know, therefore, your adolescent heart could only belong to the equally fiery Koga from InuYasha. You’re loyal, like the Wolf-Demon warrior, and rooted for…
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SFUnexplained: I can’t escape Freud
January 15, 2023By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor Everywhere I go . . . I see his face. Sigmund (hopefully not motherfucking) Freud. It was innocuous at first: he would come up, obviously, in my PSYC 101 class. I get it, we all…
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CONFESSIONALS: I have an emotional support jacket and it totally makes sense
January 10, 2023By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor We don’t give enough recognition to the true underdogs in our lives. We really don’t, and if we’re entering the new year as honest people, we need to be honest about who really has our…
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The Peak’s favourite albums of 2022
December 2, 2022By: C Icart, Staff Writer, Petra Chase, Arts & Culture Editor, Kelly Chia, Humour Editor, Daniel Salcedo Rubio, Features Editor, Olivia Visser, Opinions Editor, Michelle Young, Editor-in-chief Dance Fever: Florence + The Machine takes you through a journey of self…
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Elon Musk does not need your defense
November 24, 2022By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor If you’ve been on Twitter the last two weeks, you bore witness to Elon Musk reducing the platform to his tantrum sandbox in the name of “free speech,” even protesting that activism is what’s driving…
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The Peak’s special curriculum
November 24, 2022By: Petra Chase, Arts and Culture Editor, Kelly Chia, Humour Editor, Hannah Kazemi, Staff Writer, Olivia Visser, Opinions Editor Professors, You’ve kindly taken your time to study and deconstruct theory after theory, assigning us only the best — or most…
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Pole dancing reminded me of what my body could do
November 9, 2022By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor I’ve wanted to try pole dancing for years. When I was 14, I watched a video of a pole dancer crushing a watermelon with her thighs alone and thought, “Man, I didn’t know they were…
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