Humour
Local mom denies allegations that she’s mad, confirms she’s disappointed
October 6, 2014After hours of speculation from concerned family members, a mother from Vancouver has come out as saying that, although she isn’t mad at her son, she is certainly disappointed in him. “I understand that he’s just at that age,” Martha Sydor, 47, announced in a calm yet very stern voice, “but that doesn’t mean he gets to disregard our house rules like that. I just don’t know what’s gotten into him lately.” The announcement comes shortly after reports that her son Tanner came in two hours past curfew last night and smelled like cigarettes — though Tanner claims the scent…
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Great Pacific garbage patch discovered to be primarily stuff you’ve lost over the years
October 6, 2014A study released by the United Nations Environment Programme (UNEP) has revealed what some environmentalists had already feared most: up to 90 per cent of the Great Pacific garbage patch is comprised of crap you’ve continued to lose or misplace…
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Fans of gross tumorous, discoloured plants celebrate the return of decorative gourd season
September 29, 2014While most sane people steer clear of these off-putting, rejected squashes — perhaps in fear that the haphazard bumps and off-colour patterns are transferable through mere touch — some of the populous is indeed thrilled to have those dumb yet…
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Fall fashion advice from someone who doesn’t know anything about fashion
September 29, 2014Hey fashionistas/fashionettes, I’m Jacey von Style, and I’m here to tell you everything I think you should probably know about this season’s hottest fashion trends. First off, it’s fall, so that means average temperatures are going to be lower than…
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League of Legends tournament accidentally breaks world record for most single men in one place
September 25, 2014Late last week, Guinness World Records made a surprising announcement when it declared that the 2014 League of Legends World Championship had accidentally gathered the highest number of bachelors in a single place, shattering the previously held record. The annual…
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This week in comics
September 22, 2014Fun in the Sun (Austin Cozicar) Not a shameless plug (Jacey Gibb) Peers (Leslie Lu)
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Turning the page on tech innovation with bookbook™
September 22, 2014Recently Ikea has been making world headlines with its innovative bookbook™, a new revolutionary device that’s small enough to fit in the palm of your hand. Straying from their traditional Ikea Edge, this new bookbook is a slim and sleeker…
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Instagram introduces new filters to help trick people into thinking you’re cool and interesting
September 22, 2014Social media juggernaut Instagram announced earlier this week that it would be adding a brand new series of filters meant to further fool your friends and acquaintances into believing your life is a lot more notable than it actually is.…
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Female Body Inspector forced to go undercover at family dinner, put on a sweater
September 22, 2014Despite routinely displaying his role as a trained and trusted FBI: Female Body Inspector, a 13-year old operative is reportedly working undercover at tonight’s dinner — you know, because grandma’s coming. Justin Wilderman, who’s been an FBI for almost three…
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Research confirms Adam Sandler movies too lowbrow for Great Apes
September 22, 2014What was once mere speculation and popular opinion has now been confirmed: a study released last week by the Entirely Real Institute of Humour and Evolution has produced shocking information regarding Adam Sandler films and the reactions they elicit from…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]