HUMOUR
SUBJECT: Time To Unionize, Fellow Tall Pale Male Bartenders of Vancouver
March 10, 2020Written by Meera Eragoda, Staff Writer From: [email protected] Subject: The Revolution Stouts Now Comrades in Ales, Have you ever found yourself wondering about the struggle that so many of us are facing of late? You go in to get a half-sleeve tattoo of the East Van sign (even though you live in Gastown) with some hops or wheat or whatever, but it turns out that you can only afford the first session, and now you’re walking around with the outline, not knowing when you’ll be able to get it completed? Or how about being expected to exude a certain image…
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Friends beg their friend-turned-Twitter-activist to let them live ignorantly in peace
March 10, 2020Written by Kim Regala, Staff Writer Have a seat, Steve. Before we begin, we want you to know that we’re only doing this out of pure concern. Concern for you, but most importantly, concern for the recent changes in your…
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Your weekly SFU horoscopes: March 9–March 15
March 10, 2020Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Aries — March 21–April 19 You yearn to rest this week, but you may find it difficult to properly recharge. You’ll try to learn from your phone’s example, only to be faced with a…
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QUIZ: Did you glow up MORE or LESS than SFUNET?
March 3, 2020Written by Madeleine Chan, Staff Writer SFUNET has gone through some major transformations lately. (You know, that Wi-Fi network that’s always there, but never really gets used because it’s overshadowed by the far superior SFUNET-SECURE and eduroam.) Before, you had…
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SUBJECT: I am single-user access and your syllabus can try again later
March 3, 2020Written by Madeleine Chan, Staff Writer From: Cora P. Wright <[email protected]> To: Bob Auldmann <[email protected]>, Ted Bouks <[email protected]>, Moe Rinsane <[email protected]> Subject: I am single-user access and your syllabus can try again later Dear professors, I regret to inform you…
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DEAR PEAKIE: Lunch, love, and legal tea
March 3, 2020Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Dear Peakie, I keep trying to stop eating out, but Dining Hall food is SO GOOD and I’m not on the meal plan. How do I stop spending all this money? From, Make It…
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Your weekly SFU horoscopes: March 2–8
March 3, 2020Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Aries — March 21–April 19 Wherever you walk this week, the ugly truth about those in the immediate vicinity will follow. Solve this by spending your mornings bathing in a big vat of melted…
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The battle of wills between you and your TA — WHO will answer the discussion question?
March 2, 2020Written by Jennifer Low, Peak Associate 100 - Student I’m sitting in class and I’ve made a terrible mistake. The TA’s just asked a question about the readings, the readings which none of us have so much as opened on…
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Self-Branding When You Have No Sense Of Self
March 2, 2020Written by Lubaba Mahmud, Staff Writer We’re all aware of how important the concept of “personal branding” has become. And we’re also aware of the insecurities it can bring about, especially for the less spirited amongst us. How do you…
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CONFESSIONALS: I’m the OG Karen
February 25, 2020Written by Lubaba Mahmud, Staff Writer I don’t know if you’re ready for my confession, SFU. Frankly, I don’t know if I am ready. But it’s time you know just who walks amongst you, ready to harass yet another UniverCity…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
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For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]