HUMOUR
Pandemic pain poems
April 4, 2021By: Subaig Bindra Echoes, Silence, Patience, and Grace I try calming my worries by listening to Foo Fighters during cold showers, but then I worry about the ethics of using so much fresh water. [caption id="attachment_117864" align="alignnone" width="288"] ILLUSTRATION: Siloam Yeung / The Peak[/caption] Groceries The only time I get to talk to girls is when I am at Superstore. I make sure I really need something obscure and hard to find, so we can look for it together. All we do is make eye contact and walk past the bulk packs of socks. How romantic, my lack of romance.…
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SFU security guard can’t tell if person entering building is a student or raccoon
March 30, 2021By: Dev Petrovic, Staff Writer That’s the best you can do, SFU? You gave me a plastic folding table to sit at while ensuring the university’s security? I’m in the AQ, a building once infested by students but now abandoned.…
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Top Ten things me and the boys are gonna do after we’re vaccinated
March 30, 2021By: Juztin Bello, SFU Alumnus Loiter at the mall If there’s one thing me and the boys missed doing, it’s wandering around the mall. We’d go into stores like Lids and Sport Chek and refuse to buy anything or put…
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Your weekly SFU Horoscopes: March 29–April 4
March 29, 2021By: Charlotte Gravert, Peak Associate As spring arrives, the animals are waking up from hibernation! Who, you wonder, is your mammalian lookalike? The stars hold the answers . . . ARIES: Imagine this: you are walking in the park minding…
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The “Leave Meeting” button: The red forbidden fruit
March 23, 2021By: Nathan Tok / Peak Associate English 404W class. Week 2. When I first hath heard of Topics in Medieval Literature, I was told tales of its lethality, and its lethargy, of its length without end. My superiors uttered to…
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Top Ten things that can be substituted for a personality
March 23, 2021By: Kyla Dowling, Staff Writer Liking an obscure musician that other people definitely haven’t heard of We all know this person, and honestly? We all are this person to some extent. I wouldn’t blame you for making Mitski the centerpiece…
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Your weekly SFU Horoscopes: March 22–28
March 22, 2021By: Charlotte Gravert / Peak Associate Happy Equinox, everyone! You are formally invited to the annual spring fever infection party! Mild to severe symptoms are expected and may include . . . ARIES: Are you feeling hot, Aries? Is your…
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SFUnexplained: SFU started the pandemic to finish construction (and to make President Andrew Petter feel better)
March 20, 2021By: Dev Petrovic, Staff Writer Don’t you think it’s a little strange that “construction” and “pandemic” have the same amount of syllables? Coincidence? I think not. Clearly, SFU started a global pandemic just to finish the endless drilling and pounding…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
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For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]