HUMOUR
Your SFU horoscopes: September 27–October 3
November 25, 2021By: Carter Hemion, Humour Editor ARIES: Listen to Canada’s unsung heroes: Nickelback. They get a lot of Nickelback-lash, but if I gave you five cents for every artist you gave a second chance, you’d get your nickel back. You’ll change your opinion at the drop of a dime; it just makes cents. TAURUS: Everything you know pails in comparison to Buckethead. You, too, can wear a white mask and put an empty KFC bucket on your head. You may not be a musician, but you can be known for lurking around campus like the phantom of the opera’s weird twin. …
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Imperfect Fits for falling into spooky season
November 25, 2021By: Rusty, Ender of Worlds and Styler of Students Ah, yes, hello there. I am . . . what some may call Rusty. I see you’ve decided to come to moi for some fall fashion advice, and more precisely, for…
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Student frustrated with The Peak’s “journalism quality” because crossword is too hard
November 25, 2021By: Dev Petrovic, Peak Associate A recent act of puzzling aggression against The Peak — fuelled by kind of a tricky crossword — has sparked confusion among the publication’s student-journalists and staff members. A not-so-frequent reader of The Peak, who…
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Top 10 useless superpowers you will get going to SFU
November 25, 2021By: Craig Allan, SFU Student Cracking a watermelon open with your thighs With all the stair climbing and racing across campus to classes, your thighs will develop into trunks of steel! No more dangerous knives and missing fingers at your…
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Scrunchie finds new meaning in life
November 25, 2021By: Tamanna T., Staff Writer It had been 47 days since I had seen sunlight. An even 34 and a half days had passed since my human companion Alexa dropped me in West Mall Centre, and I, a poor scrunchie,…
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Choose your own adventure: fall sports edition
November 25, 2021By: Carter Hemion, Humour Editor INTRO “I almost can’t believe it,” you think. “After 27 long, arduous years, they’ve done it.” Ditching your evening class to see what students gave up $10 million for, you make your way to Terry…
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Your SFU horoscopes September 20–26
November 25, 2021By: Carter Hemion, Humour Editor Aries: Dress outside your aesthetic, go to a new coffee shop, and order under a fake name this week, even if only to feel something other than your existential dread at the thought of impending…
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SFUnexplained: My assignments are being eaten
November 25, 2021By: Kelly Chia, Staff Writer Yes, yes, we’ve all heard the tales . . . seen how the darkness and the infinite turns of the RCB swallows first-years and seniors alike. But as you all file back into campus, I…
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September Bingo
September 15, 2021By: Charlene Aviles, Staff Writer Plain text of bingo card: Got caught mimicking airbender moves outside lecture hall Couldn’t carry bag overpacked with Renaissance Coffee snacks Missed a class because you were walking in quadrangles in the AQ Realized you were…
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An essay by someone who never read the book
September 13, 2021By: Craig Allan, SFU Student Frankenstein is about the monster Frankenstein who is created by a doctor, also named Frankenstein. Dr. Frankenstein puts together the monster and then shocks it with lightning. Like, a whole lot of lightning, to get…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]