HUMOUR
Rating MBC food choices based on how likely I am to recite Robert Frost whilst taking a shit after consumption
July 24, 2025By: Katie Walkley, Peak Associate This is my long-awaited and highly requested ranking of the Maggie Benston Centre Food Court choices based on how likely I am to recite Robert Frost whilst taking a shit after consumption (in order from least to most). Yes, you read that right. This list includes constipation, which sometimes requires even more poetry to aid me in mourning the shit that could have been. Ben Gong’s Tea: An unlikely appearance from Robert The first experience that lightly grazed my mind was my time after Ben Gong’s Tea. Just before the flush, I had a chance…
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SFU’s cheery campus renovation hoax
July 14, 2025By: Sarah Sorochuk, Peak Associate SFU’s summer semester has been absolutely thrilling. From the koi pond being evacuated, sucked dry, and refilled to loitering chairs from convocation, to even an abundance of high school graduations, there is never a dull…
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Gossip Peakie: The messiah, not-so-hot frat bros, and squirrels
July 9, 2025By: Gossip Peakie Hey Burnaby Mountain dwellers. Gossip Peakie here, your one and only source for all the hot goss you’re trying to shove off the edge of this mountain. Did you really think one blog was enough to expose…
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CARTOON: The Trump and Musk breakup
July 3, 2025By: Christine Aumueller
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Peak Speaks: If the walls could talk
July 1, 2025By: Mason Mattu, Humour Editor We asked our friends on the SFU subreddit: If the walls at SFU could talk, what would they say? u/dash101: “Let’s stick together, or this place might fall apart!” u/YoManWTFIsThisShit: “Can someone tell the undergrads…
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Pitt Meadows saves WrestleMania 42
July 1, 2025By: Katie Walkley, SFU student This week, WWE fans of British Columbia are celebrating with more fervour than Hulk Hogan flexing his win against Andre the Giant at WrestleMania 3. I know there are lots of peace-loving pumpkins out there…
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Random thoughts from the editor: Global cooling
July 1, 2025By: Mason Mattu, Humour Editor If everyone places 10 gallons of ice cream on the pavement, will global warming be . . . solved? If so, how do I measure 10 gallons or buy ice cream with my arts degree?…
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2025 song of the summer shortlist
June 25, 2025By: Ashima Shukla, Staff Writer and Mason Mattu, Humour Editor It’s June, and the vibes are off. We’re in a climate apocalypse, the billionaires are feeling victimized, the aux cord is haunted, and we still don’t have a song of…
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Which Metro Vancouver mayor are you?
June 13, 2025By: Acting Chief of Apologies and Lawn Signs Metro Vancouver mayors are more than just civic leaders; they’re a cast of characters from a random political sitcom none of us asked to be a part of. Whether they’re beefing with…
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My letter to the News Editor: It’s time to put the fake back in news
June 13, 2025By: Zainab Salam, Concerned Staff Writer Dear Hannah (The Peak’s News Editor), I write to you today as both a concerned member of the SFU student body and a staff writer for The Peak. With every passing day, I become…
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