HUMOUR
New SFU survey finds lectures do “absolutely nothing”
June 13, 2023By: Isabella Urbani, Staff Writer Burnaby, BC, June 12 — This just in: a new SFU survey revealed 99% of students find lectures pointless. The survey, which was sent last week from the email address “[email protected],” asked students to evaluate the benefit of lectures on a five-point Likert scale. A subsequent email was sent to Beedie students to explain that a Likert scale is NOT a test, and they DIDN’T need to get together to compare answers. They begrudgingly agreed on the condition their lawyers could inspect the survey prior to their participation. K? In just a mere day, all…
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Horoscopes June 12–18
June 13, 2023By: Alex Ileto, SFU Student Cancer Venus, the planet of love, is currently zooming toward Earth to orbit around you. That’s right, this week, invest time into your love life. Forgo Pokémon Go and download that dating app your friends…
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STORYTIME: THE DAY I FOUND OUT ONE OF THE EMPLOYEES AT MACKENZIE CAFE WAS MY MOTHER
June 9, 2023By: C Icart, Humour Editor Insert over-the-top thumbnail here with me looking shocked. There is text in all caps that reads, “I FINALLY FOUND MY MOM” Hi everyone! Welcome back to my channel! I have the wildest story to share…
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Top ten ways to cancel a subscription
June 7, 2023By: Hana Hoffman, Peak Associate Everything follows a subscription model nowadays. Check your credit card statement; you’re probably paying for something you forgot to cancel after the free trial! I suspect this is what these greedy companies want; us unknowingly…
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Have a splash with another Dear Peakie
June 7, 2023By: Maya Beninteso, Peak Associate and C Icart, Humour Editor Dear Peakie, I used to be terrified of raccoons. So, I subscribed to Raccoon Whisperer’s YouTube channel to overcome my fear. It worked tremendously! But now, I’ve followed in James’…
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SFU Residence and Housing presents: The Magic Treehouse
June 6, 2023By: Izzy Cheung, Staff writer Attention all SFU students! We are speeding up construction of our newest housing structure, The Magic Treehouse. As a result, we have begun accepting resident applications for this revolutionary housing concept. It combines edgy and…
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How to accept you will always be a passenger
June 1, 2023By: Izzy Cheung, Staff writer So, you’re a new driver looking for some advice. I’m here to let you know you’ve come to the right place. As a two-time learner’s license holder, I’ve been on the road lots of times…
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Top 10 tips to be happy in Vancouver
May 31, 2023By: Saije Rusimovici, Staff Writer Don’t root for the Vancouver Canucks I get it — your grandfather’s grandfather was a fan. You spent your childhood looking up to FIN, watching the playoff games in the background during dinner (though those…
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CONFESSIONALS: I’ve been reading the same book for over two years
May 31, 2023By: C Icart, Humour Editor Hey! Don’t look at me like that. Yeah, that’s right, I can feel you judging me like my ex judged me, and my previous ex, and my previous ex . . . damn, I’ve been…
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Daily Viagra user votes in favour of anti-trans legislation
May 26, 2023By: C Icart, Humour Editor News anchor: Breaking news — a local cisgender man who does gender-affirming things all the time is adamant when it comes to preventing trans individuals from doing the same. I, your local reporter, had the…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
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For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]