HUMOUR
Former SFU mascot candidate grilled by hiring manager
March 14, 2024By: Izzy Cheung, Staff Writer I sit down at the table, its surface cold against my trembling hands. The smooth papers rustle beneath my palms, my fingers pressing deep wrinkles into the material. I shouldn’t be nervous — I’ve gone over every scenario in my mind and prepared myself for any possibility. I’ve studied this for years, and I know that I’m qualified. But as I stare across the table, at the face that I know will be judging me more than I’ve ever been judged in my entire life, I know that my nerves are justified. His stare is…
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Pitching technical difficulties
March 6, 2024By: Hailey Miller, Staff Writer On a not-so-typical Thursday morning that quickly turned into an afternoon, staff members of The Peak sat down like any old day for their weekly online pitch meeting . . . but this time, with…
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Horoscopes: March 4 – 9
March 4, 2024By: Kelly Chia, Editor-in-Stars Aries March 21–April 19 I think you should punch your midterm. Not in class, because that would be embarrassing. But metaphorically, you should punch it for all the stress it’s caused you. Giving the exam a…
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Ranking dairy alternatives from a cultured lactose intolerant’s perspective
March 4, 2024By: Izzy Cheung, Staff Writer Picture this: it’s a Monday morning, you’ve just found out that you’re lactose intolerant (or maybe have issues digesting dairy, we’ve all been there), and you just spent a small fortune on dinner the night…
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Your reactions to these daily student scenarios will determine which major you should be in
February 28, 2024By: Izzy Cheung, staff writer Let’s start the day off properly! What time are you waking up at for a full day of classes? Three hours before my first class. I like to get a morning run and a healthy…
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BREAKING NEWS: SFU introduces geese therapy to make up for students quitting from SFSS
February 27, 2024By: Kelly Chia, Editor-in-Chief A stunning new report brings a quack of a time to the student body at SFU. Hundreds of geese were seen flapping onto the tall Burnaby campus, an unusual sight for the student population. It’s also…
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Traitors vs. Faithfuls: The Quiz
February 27, 2024By: Saije Rusimovici, Staff Writer Are you a Traitor or a Faithful? The campus is divided. A select few are chosen as Traitors, tasked with getting rid of the Faithfuls while staying undetected. The Faithfuls? It’s your job to identify…
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Reginald the III vs. Bobby Sleigh: Part 1
February 27, 2024By: Kelly Chia, Editor-in-Chief My precious literate raccoons, Did you miss my smooth voice narrating the most succulent meals found on the campus floors? I did, too. I had to take a sabbatical from my important work reviewing foods for…
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From the Desks of Bobby Sleigh: Bobby’s Lament
February 27, 2024By: Kelly Chia, Editor-in-Chief and Dutiful Archivist The following work has been lovingly archived under, “Genius Art Before Their Time,” a pre-humous (we find post-humous too trendy) archive dedicated to appreciating divine poetry as we see it. Written by MasterChef…
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How to sabotage a completely healthy and happy relationship (lesbian version)
February 14, 2024By: Tam Nguyen, SFU Student Inside an SFU dorm, there’s a girl sleeping on the couch. A YouTube video called “Learn C++ in 15 minutes” is playing on the TV screen. Suddenly, there’s a loud BANG on the door that…
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