HUMOUR
When autocorrect helps the devil steal your girl
January 13, 2026By: Katie Walkley, Peak Associate Chad: Hey weirdo! Chad: *Wanda Wanda: hey chad! strange typo, lol. how r u? Chad: I’m alright. Feeling hyped to go see some dead cats tonight! Wanda: ew . . . wtf? Chad: Jazz cats! I’m going to a new jazz bar that just opened up. Wanda: hm OK then . . . Wanda: so on ur profile it says u go to SFU? me too! Chad: Which cum piss is your favourite? I love the Vancouver one. Chad: *cum piss Wanda: what the hell r u talking about? Chad: *cum piss Chad: Omfg. Chad:…
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#InfluencerQueen: Rating my 2025 achievements
January 12, 2026By: Zainab Salam, Influencer of Influencers Hey, girlies! Life’s so interesting and hectic as a baddie influencer. This past year has been a year of many successes. I think I smashed it, to be honest. Everyone should follow my lead. …
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The Peak investigates: Students falling down the stairs from Blusson Hall to the AQ
January 12, 2026By: Heidi Kwok, Investigative Journalist-In-Training As a wannabe-investigative journalist, I was determined to follow in the footsteps of my predecessors at The Peak Investigates column. Thus, donning my fedora, beige-coloured trench coat, and with one too many coffee enemas in…
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PR-lady from athletics department holds mandatory teach-in on why football is problematic
January 5, 2026By: An unsuspecting student I was walking to the bus loop after a long day of classes when a shadowy pink and yellow figure suddenly appeared out of nowhere. A bag was then shoved over my head and my hands…
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Vancouver’s SkyTrain is now Bitcoin-powered
January 5, 2026By: Ashi, senior writer for imaginary infrastructure In a move described by aides as “inevitable, visionary, and definitely not a parody of governance,” mayor Ken Sim announced Thursday that Vancouver’s SkyTrain system is soon to be powered entirely by Bitcoin.…
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Survival guide: post-holiday edition
January 5, 2026By: Noeka Nimmervoll, Staff Diva After the holidays, everything sucks. I love the part of winter when all I do is stuff my face with carbs and cocktails, because, well, it’s carbs and cocktail time. However, now that the holiday…
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Ice Spice deserves an Oscar for “Big Guy”
January 5, 2026By: Mason Mattu, Humour Editor and Official Song Reviewer “Stop playing with ’em, Riot” are the last words that moviegoers hear before being blessed with the lyrical mastery of American rapper Ice Spice in the latest SpongeBob movie, “The SpongeBob…
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The Clausgate Scandal: How Big Beverage tried to cancel Christmas
December 20, 2025By: Zainab Salam, Reporter in Hiding By the time the headline “Santa Claus Hates Everyone” ricocheted across the internet and news outlets, the world had already begun cancelling Christmas. Children sobbed into their half-eaten gingerbread men. Christmas influencers rebranded as…
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The dialectic nature of brunch as a form of resistance in a post-constructivist, Maoist, anti-rhizomatic context, as prescribed by bottomless Buddy Burgers
December 19, 2025By: Mason Mattu, Critical Brunch Scholar Acknowledgements: Thank you to A&W Canada for sponsoring this delicious research paper. You can buy a Buddy Burger for only a penny with the coupon code: TheA&WGuySentMe. To brunch is to rebel. To eat…
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The Peak makes record-breaking sales after adding 43 variants of their editions, including the ultra-fan-favourite: Rare glitter edition
December 19, 2025By: Veronica Richards, SFU Student Why read the news when you could collect it? The Peak is coming off the press with 43 new variants of next week’s edition, and you could get your hands on an exclusive version. Don’t…
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