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HUMOUR: SFU Bookstore now accepting bribes to cut long line waits

The first week of classes can be a tumultuous affair for students at Simon Fraser — a fate made all the more torturous by excessive line waits to purchase textbooks. However, starting this semester at the Burnaby Campus, line supervisors will now be accepting bribes to place cash-carrying students at the front of the line. The initiative from the SFU Bookstore, known as “Project Jump Ahead,” was announced over social media last Friday and has been implemented with the goal of shrinking long wait times for students (or at least those from wealthier economic backgrounds). Currently, the average student waits…

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