Home Blog Page 437

Reopening society now is the worst thing we could do

0
It would be nice to go outside, but not before it’s safe. Photo: Maxwell Gawlick / The Peak

By: Nicole Magas, Opinions Editor

Quarantine is tough, there’s no question about it. Even as an introvert I’m struggling. Sure, it was nice at first — not much actually changed from my usual routine of YouTube and reading. But as the weeks have rolled on and only minimal headway has been made in fighting the COVID-19 virus, I’m finding it more and more difficult to remain confined in doors.

And yet indoors I stay, and so should you, whenever possible.

I’m writing as one who has vulnerabilities to increased severity of COVID-19 complications. I also write on behalf of several loved ones who likewise have compromised immune systems or comorbidities that make their likelihood of death that much greater if they catch the virus. And finally, I write as a socially-minded member of society who thinks that loss of life in this pandemic must be prevented above all other concerns.

And so when I see that quarantine restrictions are being lifted around the world, I feel the white noise of anxiety that comes with living in pandemic times rise to full-on panic. The United States, which has the highest number of cases in the world, has already begun the process of easing restrictions. Even here in BC, cautious plans have started to phase out quarantine measures.

The problem is that people are messy, complicated creatures, and we don’t work as neatly as plans and projections might predict. Take for example what happened on the May 9 weekend. Fresh off of the announcement that BC had flattened the curve enough to start easing restrictions, Vancouverites flooded beaches and public spaces, despite the fact that the virus is still present in our communities.

It’s as if we’ve become completely complacent with how infectious this disease is. How it spreads invisibly through asymptomatic carriers, and how long people are infectious before they even show symptoms. People have forgotten that on March 1 we had four confirmed active cases. A month later, it was 435.

I am terrified of what is going to happen in the second, third, and fourth waves of this virus as governments yo-yo quarantine restrictions. How many more people are going to die? How long are we going to draw out the economic devastation by reopening too soon?

I am not going to feel safe going outside, seeing friends and family, or resuming any kind of regular activity until a proven vaccine is readily available. And even then, the fact that the situation with our closest national neighbour has devolved into rhetoric that normalizes acceptance that people are going to be infected and die, I won’t feel safe unless travel restrictions remain in place against countries with out of control active cases.

Right now our best weapon against the coronavirus is social distancing. It is beyond foolish to suggest we put it away before we have an equal or greater tool in our arsenal to keep ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities safe, healthy, and alive.

Students should be given feedback on all of their assignments

0
All assignments should be learning opportunities. Screencap: Maxwell Gawlick / The Peak

By: Nicole Magas, Opinions Editor

One of the big downsides in allowing things to fall into a routine is that we begin failing to see the forest for the trees. Take assignments and assessments in university, for example. When students and faculty get caught up in quickly completing work or assigning grades, the actual point of learning can start to get muddied. As a result, the focus of the work done in undergrad starts to shift toward completing individual tasks, rather than gaining skills, knowledge, or correcting errors. For students, this can mean that valuable feedback is either lost or disregarded in the rush to get the next task done.

As shocking as it may sound, students enroll in university classes to learn. A large part of this process is done under the guided direction of professors and other educators. And yet I cannot tell you the number of times I’ve received an assignment back with a simple letter grade and maybe a comment about a good performance scrawled at the very end. Unless that letter grade happens, by some miracle, to be an A+, these little head nods leave me feeling baffled as to what I may have done wrong, or how I can improve on whatever challenge comes next. 

And let me be clear that this is by no means a universal problem. Many of my professors have, in fact, gone above and beyond to provide detailed feedback on assignments. These much appreciated comments have not only indicated where my work may have fallen short, but have also given enough information that I am able to find the footing necessary to improve on future assignments. 

Nor is this wholly a faculty-sided issue. I’ve often seen students take back graded assignments or exams and shove them as deep down into the unholy recesses of backpacks as they can be crammed, without so much a glance at the comments.

Yet it is enough of a problem — amongst both faculty and students — to take note of it. In both of these situations, students are robbed of the necessary feedback to improve themselves and their work going forward. What should be well-earned lessons about a student’s strengths and weaknesses becomes an endless slog to churn out work at some acceptable graded level.

At no point in the semester is this deficiency in the system more prominent than at the very end. After submitting a final paper, project, lab, or exam, the best that most students can hope for is a percentage to appear in their Canvas log. Getting any kind of detailed feedback on a class final is almost unheard of — except amongst professors who truly do go the extra mile for their students.

And I understand that the end of semester is as much a chaotic time for professors as it is for students. Deadlines to post grades clash with the tsunami of panicked students either needing extensions or extra credit to avoid failing. But that doesn’t mean that feedback during this stressful period is any less relevant for student improvement.

Think of it this way: what is the point of a final (or any other assignment) if a student doesn’t have an opportunity to see how and why they made a mistake? It becomes merely a convenient tool of assessment for the benefit of the professor alone. It ostensibly punishes the perceived “laziness” of weak students, gives unnecessary praise to strong students, and does nothing for those in the middle. 

If that is the case, then it might be best to reconsider whether this mode of assessing student capabilities is really the most efficient and beneficial way for students to achieve what they came to university for in the first place: to learn.

 

How to Clean, Season, and Cook With Your Cast-Iron Excuses

0

Written by Rodolfo Boskovic, Peak Associate

Taking care of yourself can be a struggle once you’ve moved out, and there’s a lot to learn about how to manage your new household. Just look at your kitchen: it’s shocking how many different ways there are to clean a cast-iron pan! However, there’s one undersung staple of adulthood that everyone should be keeping in their drawer: a good old well-maintained cast-iron excuse.

Excuses, valid or not, make for the perfect interactions. Nobody wants to hear their loved ones nagging at them about their shortcomings every half-hour! The truth may set you free, but it might just need a little elbow grease to really give you the results you want. Here, we’re going to teach you how to clean and season your cast-iron excuses. 

We’ll walk you through it step-by-step, using some of our latest cutting-edge products — three different excuses for why you won’t talk to your family on Zoom. With our help, you’ll be cooking up the best deceptions ever, keeping your relatives healthy, happy, and off your back.

Can the truth do that? Didn’t think so.

EXCUSE #1: “Sorry, my Wi-Fi sucks.”

Maybe you’ve become comfortable — too comfortable — using this reliable excuse to end all sorts of calls over the years. Well, with our technique, you’ll be taking this worn-out excuse and sparking some new life in that sucker!

Here’s what you’ll need:

  •  1–2 tech-illiterate parents
  •  2 old-school emoticons
  •  1 flexible conscience

Wait for the next time your (1–2) parent(s) try to Zoom you. Grab (1) cell phone outta your pocket. Carefully apply that flexible moral conscience of yours, and text “internet is down 🙁 </3“ right back at them. You’ll be cracking their heart(s) right on the spot, but it won’t look like your fault at all! 

Worried you only have tech-savvy parents sitting in the fridge? Don’t worry, honey! Lean back and use . . .   

EXCUSE #2: “Sorry, my roommate sucks.”

If you’re going to university, chances are good you can’t afford BC house prices without at least one roommate somewhere in your pantry. But this excuse is challenging to properly prep. 

Luckily, all you’ll need for this one is:

  • 1 roommate whose drama seems impossible to solve
  • 1 incredibly creative mind

Maybe your roommate was dumped. Maybe they were fired. Maybe they fell on a knife after not doing their dishes one too many times. Maybe they had it coming.

Whatever might be the case, rub your roommate’s current bundle of life crises harshly over your excuse, until it’s squeaky clean of any personal accountability. Use up all of that sucker you can spare! Be sure to make it really clear how much your roommate’s problems are affecting you. Then, rub that excuse in your family’s faces until they’re squeaky clean of any annoyance! Presto: no Zoom calls this week, either. 

EXCUSE #3: “Sorry, moving sucks!”

This excuse is the trickiest to cook with, but ironically, it is perhaps the truest to life. After all, your Wi-Fi won’t be “down” forever, and the police might soon come asking after your roommate who “tripped”. Here’s how to get around that: Run away. 

You’ll need:

  • 1 dissociative talent
  • 1 ransom note
  • 1 tsp of blood

Prepping this excuse is simple. Take a dry ransom note, then smear just a teaspoon of your blood on it to properly fake a kidnapping. And you know what? Don’t even bother actually explaining anything to your parents. Just move away for a lifetime and your life will be sparkling new in no time. 

With this refurbished excuse, Zoom’s promise of “delivering happiness” can be true at last.

It’s OK to not be as productive as usual while in quarantine

0
If all you did today was eat chips and play Switch, you’re doing just fine. Illustration: Sabrina Kedzior / The Peak

By: Marco Ovies, Editor-in-Chief

I went on Instagram the other day and instantly felt like absolute trash for doing nothing the entire day. One of my friends had started her own life-advice blog that has just begun to blow up, while another was creating a macramé bag. I didn’t even know what macramé was before she had mentioned it. Meanwhile, I spent the morning laying in bed with a few too many potato chip crumbs on my shirt scrolling through TikTok. 

So right around the time I was ready to click “checkout” on the $100 of art supplies I was about to buy, I took a moment to stop and think. Who said that the rules of quarantine meant I needed to do something “productive” with my life? More importantly, what did being productive with my time even mean? 

Society is constantly telling us that we need to use whatever free time we have to achieve something. It stems from this idea I like to call “struggle culture,” where we have ingrained in ourselves that to be successful means we have to struggle. Basically, the principle is that if you work really hard now, you’ll be able to relax when you’ve “made it” later. 

The catch is that society has conditioned us to feel guilty the second we stop striving for more. We will never be truly satisfied, and it ends up as a never ending cycle of working until the day we die (depressing, I know).

One of the major features propelling this feeling is that we’re constantly inundated with celebrity “success” stories. These people who have ostensibly “made it” quite often have not worked a day in their lives, or are making money off of the backs of others. But because of how influential these people are we have started to think that if we want to be like Jeff Bezos  we need to spend every waking second doing something to improve ourselves. 

To be entirely honest, you’re doing fine if you’re taking time for yourself instead of studying to become a neurosurgeon during quarantine. Personally, I’ve taken this time to reorganize my living space, repot some plants, and allow myself a much needed break from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Now more than ever I think we all need to take a break for a moment and focus on what’s really important. The added pressure of trying to be productive with your free time is not helping anyone. This is your time and you shouldn’t let society decide what you need to be doing with it. 

 

Grade 12 students petition for grad ceremony with classmates they hate

0

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor

PORT COQUITLAM, BC — Just like all the other Grade 12 students in British Columbia, Courtney Pierce has been counting the days until her one last chance to party with 400 people she blatantly despises. Now, her cancelled grad has left her heartbroken. Across the country, Pierce is one of many students who’ve lost their end-of-year festivities because close contact with their fellow grads could scar them physically instead of just mentally.

Together with her classmates from Port Island Secondary School (PISS), Pierce has launched a petition for their school district to hold an in-person ceremony, so they can say a final goodbye before deleting each other from their Facebook friends lists forever.

“I’ve been waiting for this day for so long,” Pierce told The Peak.

The PISS petition on change.org has garnered 2,000 signatures and counting.

“We understand that COVID-19 means we cannot hold a ceremony in June,” reads the petition. “However, instead of a virtual experience, we should be exploring other options.” The petition suggests a staggered ceremony over several days, or a drive-through ceremony “where we can at least fantasize about running each other over.” 

Currently, Port Island intends to livestream a series of grad speeches from students and administration alike. However, PISS student Hunter Cheever has cancelled his valedictorian speech because he doesn’t “believe in cyberbullying,” according to the school.

PISS is one of several local high schools which traditionally holds its graduation photo-ops at SFU’s reflecting pool, where students can gaze into the depths and get a taste of what it’s like to be a college student. Unfortunately, this too has been cancelled.

SEE MORE:Students gather at AQ reflection pond to reflect on their own worthlessness

Several PISS students have also taken to social media to complain about the cancellation of their grad dinner and dance.

“How are we supposed to argue over who’s getting kicked out of which limo if we don’t even have limos anymore,” one student wrote in an Instagram caption. 

“I just wanted one more night to eat chicken strips in the corner and not talk to anyone before I spend the rest of my life eating chicken strips in the corner and not talking to anyone,” Tweeted another.

Top 5 Ongoing Neighbourhood Dramas To Binge-Watch Through Your Bedroom Window This Month

0

Written by Madeleine Chan, Staff Writer

Are you stuck at home? Have you sucked your favourite streaming service as dry as you’ve been sucked of motivation? Fear not, for we’ve curated for you the perfect list of lounge-worthy dramas to watch from the comfort of your own window. No matter where you live, these shows are the best of the best in window-watching entertainment — perfect for the suburban scandal in all of us.

Patricia and Her Performative Pot-banging 

This drama explores the psyche of middle-aged mom Patricia, who “loves” essential workers. Armed with a metal pot and spoon, she emerges every evening at 7 p.m. to slam them against each other and holler like a rabid soccer fan. The best part? Nothing says dramatic irony like knowing that she’ll eventually go back to degrading the very service workers she’s supposedly supporting. If you miss her daily screams, you can catch up on Facebook, where she’ll be shaming her friends into joining her. 

Wine Moms: Six Feet Apart

Catch this classic group on a sunny weekend afternoon after they’ve sedated their kids with money for iPad microtransactions. They pull up with their bottles of rosé and folding chairs to arrange themselves in a socially distanced circle (well, almost socially distanced, they’re usually a little too tipsy to gauge six feet correctly) on someone’s obnoxiously kept lawn. A great way to keep up on all the neighbourhood gossip and finally feel like you’re part of something greater than yourself.

The Height of Suburbia

An annual spring special, The Height follows the conflicts between neighbours as they start gardening again to prove their civic worth. This season, Bob planted his coriander too close to Bert’s cumin and now they’re trying to fight as harshly as they can for their “rightful” land while also maintaining a safe distance. HGTV wishes they had this level of spice.

Who Needs an Alarm Clock?

Picture this: Brady Bunch meets reality T.V. meets a jackhammer. Listen in to the lives of your neighbours as they yell at each other in the confines of their own home, thinking that their shouting can’t be heard down the block. SPOILER ALERT: there’s no season finale. It’s just rerun after rerun, the whole cast wailing about the same old things like a World War II air raid siren! Fun, family-friendly, and perfect for those early-morning or middle-of-the-night go-getters.

Postal Yearning

A mailbox-view exclusive, this show follows two star-crossed teens as they meet daily at the communal mailbox to exchange hushed words of affection through their disposable face masks. Maybe the distance is just a few feet, but to their horny, touch-starved young souls, it seems like kilometres. Great for people who like to vicariously live through the experiences of strangers.

CONFESSIONALS: I matched with the SFU Avocado

0
Illustration of a closed envelope, with the text, “Confessionals”
ILLUSTRATION: Marissa Ouyang /The Peak

Written by AvocadoLover69, SFU Student

Disclaimer: The events and people in this story are (well, mostly) real. Names and places have been changed in order to protect these individuals’ identities. 

It was just another night of aimlessly scrolling through Tinder when I found them. The second I saw their profile, I was hooked. Holy Guacamole, they were hot, I mean, you should have seen those curves. Well . . . I guess it’s just one curve that goes all the way around.

I couldn’t help myself. Before I knew it, I had swiped right and matched with the SFU Avocado.

I’d seen them on campus a couple of times. Never thought much of them. But seeing them on this dating app with these sexy pictures really made me reconsider. It was like when the nerdy girl takes her glasses off in the movies and is all-of-a-sudden hot.

Right when I was trying to figure out what to say first, they messaged me. “UWU HEY BBY WANNA GET FREAKY IN THE AQ tonight.” 

It felt like they were speaking to my soul. I’d never had such a strong connection with someone so quickly — until now. Everyone on Tinder is just looking for hook-ups, but the avocado was different. I knew exactly how to respond. 

“OH GUAC YEAH *moaning emojis go here* MASH ME UP REAL GOOD.”

I don’t know if it’s too soon to say . . . but I can already picture our wedding. Crazy how you can know someone for such a short amount of time and already know you want to spend the rest of your life with them. I’m thinking we could hold it on the beach, or maybe in a field somewhere, but honestly, I don’t care where we do it. What matters is that they are all I avo wanted.

Tonight we will be meeting in person for the first time. My friends told me not to go, saying “dude how are you going to fuck a statue.” But what they don’t understand is that I’m not just going to fuck this statue; I’m going to commit to this statue, the way my last girlfriend never cado, yeah that’s right Lauren fuck you.

Some people spend their whole lives looking for love. Me? Well, I found the avocado statue on Tinder. So kinkshame me all you want, but I’m about to go and make some thick-ass guacamole.

Companies shouldn’t be exploiting tragedies to generate profits

0
No, we don’t want a coffee logo to be the face of a national tragedy. Illustration: Tiffany Chan / The Peak

By: Madeleine Chan, Staff Writer

“In these unprecedented times,” “We’re all in this together,” “Now more than ever,” and “Our hearts go out to those affected,” are all phrases I’ve seen recently in advertisements that make me want to scream. As a keen critic of commercialism, I’m used to seeing companies use current events to their advantage. However, the way that corporations are using current tragedies for their financial gain is honestly quite disgusting. 

I’m talking about companies like Tim Hortons that capitalize on the Nova Scotia shooting through their “Nova Scotia strong” donut fundraiser, and Tylenol that brands itself as the “founding sponsor” of the COVID-19 fund for nurses. It’s kind of scary how fast these companies turned their marketing around to reflect the current situation, and also how eerily similar all of the accompanying ads appear. They all contain that element of a soft, worried, or slightly patronizing voice to convey just how much they care about you. The real irony is in the fact that if they truly cared they would use the thousands, if not millions, of dollars they are spending on these ad campaigns and put them towards actually alleviating the effects of the tragedy. 

Yes, thank you A&W actor, for telling me that you care about me, your workers, and all other service employees in an iPhone video. The people suffering the most from this pandemic are truly blessed to know that you are still open for delivery. And Amazon, your insanely overworked staff are so thankful that you took the time, effort, and money to thank them through a simple video ad instead of paying them a fair wage for their work. 

There shouldn’t need to be a whole multimedia campaign to say “Hey, look at us, we’ve done a good thing.” Corporations can still help without trying to reap as much positive PR (and thereby sales) as they can from tragedies. New Balance is doing just this by using their factories to make masks, but not outwardly bragging to their customers about it. I realize that advertising is a significant means of financial survival for many companies, but that doesn’t mean that they have to resort to designing an ad campaign around people’s suffering to continue their operations. 

Frustratingly, this isn’t a new phenomenon. It reminds me of every June when companies take advantage of pride month by branding themselves as the “ultimate queer allies,” without really doing much to help said community. The very act of putting out these ads, selling sprinkled donuts, or becoming the branded face of relief shows companies’ true, two-faced nature. Their priority is making you care about them through expensive marketing campaigns, rather than actually helping those in crisis. 

Make no mistake, although they are branding themselves as charitable actors, the messages you are seeing from these companies are still part of an intricate ad campaign. These businesses are still trying to make money. I invite you to take a closer look at the brands around you and how they are using their “unprecedented time” to profit off of tragedy.

 

Hey, Rapunzel here — I think my quarantine haircut just killed a man

0
ILLUSTRATION: Reslus / The Peak

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor

To misquote Veronica Sawyer of Heathers fame, my quarantine hair-angst bullshit has a body count.

I mean, I wouldn’t say I feel crazy guilty. Obviously I didn’t want any of my suitors to die. Like, that wasn’t the goal, as such. But can you blame me? Everyone’s always all, ‘Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let down your hair!’ Excuse me . . .  I’m the one who’s been let down. My boyfriends are all goddamn himbos.

I try to give these boys the benefit of the doubt, I do. But it’s hard to feel respected when he tries to use your hair as jump-rope to get his cardio in, now that the gyms are closed. Once I had dinner with a guy who asked which muscle group I was named after.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Like any good fairy tale, let’s start at the beginning. Once upon a time, amid a global pandemic, Rapunzel discovered the haircut.

I knew what a haircut was, but I didn’t know the power it apparently had, not until I finally saved up enough for an iPhone. Just look on Twitter. “Closure isn’t real just cut your hair and pretend it didn’t happen,” Tweets tony cock. What do you mean, I can just chop it all off and rewrite my personal history? I guess I’ve missed a lot off the grid. 

The real inspiration came when I read about COVID-19. (Thank goodness Mom prepared me for this one.) I saw and read about all these people who cut their hair to escape their boredom, to try something new, to make up for being unable to outsource their labour to a hairdresser for once. It was inspiring. It was maddening. 

When those harrowed, underpaid Rogers techs set up my new unlimited data plan, they opened my eyes. Here were all these plague-ridden freaks online, panicking and scalping themselves under the guise of “experimenting,” and what was I doing? Hacking up hairballs every morning, that’s what.

Well, no more, I thought. I was the ORIGINAL quarantine girl. If anyone was going to enjoy release from the fettering ravages of their own identity, it was going to be me. 

I remember leaning my head back through the window. I wanted the symbolism of letting that sucker fall through 70 feet of air. I stayed like that for a while, feeling the wind. My hair almost seemed to be getting heavier the more I waited. Perhaps it was time to just get it over with. I raised the Wahl clippers and sliced.

Shaving my head felt like so much weight dropping from my shoulders. All my fears, my anxieties . . . it wasn’t until I heard the desperate screams that I realized who that last 180 pounds belonged to.

Poor Flynn, but honestly, he should have listened when I told him that visiting his girlfriend mid-pandemic still counted as a distancing violation.

My summer chop didn’t last too long, sadly. My hair lengthens after being cut short almost as suddenly as Vladimir Putin’s term in office does. There are benefits to being the adoptive daughter of a jealous and homicidal witch, I guess. I might actually like her, if she wasn’t also the worst landlord in history. 

Well, I guess I’ll be taking this chance to try a few different cuts. I’ve run through bangs or no bangs, different layers, side shaves. A few more men have plummeted to their deaths for sure, but luckily I have yet to take down the DoorDash deliverer. And if Gothel wants my rent this month, I guess she can try and climb her own way up for once.

Peak Speaks Podcast – What Grinds our Gears

0

Listen here: https://pod.link/1464226637