By: Hailey Miller, Peak Associate
Well, the longest day of the year has already come and gone. The day erupted into the sky at the crack of dawn, like a fleeting shimmer as the seasons pass by. If you blinked, you probably missed it, because summer just started, and it’s already on its way out. It’s been preparing for this all year — it knows Vancouver is the perfect place to throw some shade and keep us weather-complaining locals on our toes. So, the season comes and goes, and no one even knows. It’s a literal flip-flop, after all. But you better make sure those flat-footed, ergonomic hazards of a sandal (if you can even call them that), accompanied by a brutally uncomfortable toe piece, stay on your feet. Otherwise, you’ll get burned by the sizzling sidewalk underneath. Oh, but don’t worry, those improper flip-flops will slide right off in the sweaty summer heat.
June 21 may have been the longest sunlit 24 hours the Northern Hemisphere had to offer, but it sure didn’t show it. As the clock struck midnight, the sky swallowed the wistful days of summer’s rays, leaving behind melted ice cream drips and spontaneous road trips, impatiently awaiting their turn to conquer the dog days. You want to enjoy a nice night at the beach and take in the summer breeze? Forget it. The wildfire smoke is too thick for that, and the only breeze you’ll feel is your useless fan working overtime as your hair sticks to the back of your neck, heavy with sweat. The only sunset you’ll see is the fiery haze in the sky as you watch from inside your house, quarantined from climate change. Nothing says summer like being locked down in the heat. Gone are the days when you jumped in the ocean without the thought of an E. Coli outbreak.
What’s not to love about summer when the days are already shorter, and the ocean water is still colder than your frigid air conditioner kicking into overdrive? One minute it’s a torrential downpour, and the next, the sun’s rays are searing down so hot you might as well cook your breakfast outside on the sidewalk. Who wants to turn on the stove and transform their kitchen into a furnace when you can fry an egg on the pavement instead? Why bother wasting energy when climate change is right on your front doorstep! The walls of your house are already crumbling in the heat — accompanied by a cesspool of sweat — so you might as well go outside and enjoy the blistering sun for an entire two seconds before it’s too hot to handle. Good thing fall is just around the corner. Just kidding, we’ll probably get a “second summer” in October while pumpkin spice runs through the city streets, slides down the pipes, and into the kitchen sink — readily available on tap.
But before you enter into your pumpkin spice, Libra-living, vampire-vanquishing, Halloween-haunting glory, just remember: swirling a copious amount of the infamous autumn sauce (basic latte code for pumpkin spice, obviously) into every drink imaginable is a law that must be abided by, following the immediate fall of summer. That’s why it’s called fall, after all. Whether your special spice recipe is concocted via Witches’ Brew or handpicked from the pumpkin patch in your backyard, the irresistible autumn elixir will surely work its magic to remedy the summer disappointment of relentless heat. The crisp autumn air will soon whisper upon the horizon, enticing pumpkin spice connoisseurs and witches alike, leaving the dog days long behind.
