A child was awoken late last night with significant sores on his back after he foolishly allowed himself to be bitten by bedbugs despite being warned repeatedly not to let them bite.

Joey Foreman, who is nearly six-and-a-half and really should know better, is now having to deal with the repercussions of his actions according to his disappointed parents. 

“We tell him every night to not let the bedbugs bite and he never listens,” his mother Sheryl told The Peak. “Maybe now he’ll think twice before ignoring us and just sleeping carefree and happily.”

Sheryl explained that Joey had continually let his guard down at night, going to sleep without taking proper safety precautions and, as a result, was bitten by the bugs.

“‘I think he thought we were just kidding or something, he’d always just laugh and say ‘good night’ instead of agreeing to ward them off,” she continued. “He got lucky for the first couple years that we didn’t have much of an infestation problem, but now he’s facing reality.

“He’s got to know that part of growing up is conquering bedbugs and not just letting them crawl all over you and then take as many bites as they want to.”

While Joey might have believed that the sores were enough of a punishment, his parents say they are also banning TV for a week to teach him a strict lesson for not doing as he was told.

In response, Joey has issued the public statement that “It’s not fair.” 

The number of university students who are chronically underweight and aren’t eating properly is staggering, according to a study conducted by their grandmas.

According to their research — staring at you and your “loose pants” — today’s college student is not receiving nearly enough proper nutrients and should definitely take some of these leftovers with them when they leave.

“It’s absolutely astonishing how skinny these kids are when they come home,” explained Betty Green, the grandmother of two of the test subjects, SFU students John and Carol. “It’s appalling to be honest, why aren’t they having more home-cooked meals?”

Green believes that immediate action needs to be taken to help today’s youth before they “wither away and die.” 

When asked what could be done, she answered immediately, “Have a second helping, I’ve got plenty of food.”

“Eat, eat, eat,” she continued, outlining her health plan to combat the massive malnourishment problem. “I’ve got roast beef, a casserole, vegetables — you need to eat more vegetables, how often are you eating vegetables? They’re good for you, you know.”

Green’s sentiments have been echoed by grandmothers all across the country and even the world, although there have been disagreements as to the specifics of how to combat the egregious problem.

While some claim that offering another piece of lasagna is the key, others believe that filling plates with more dumplings and spring rolls will solve everything.

Although there is a split when it comes to what foods are best to return today’s starving, sickly students to prime health, there is a consensus that they should definately “come visit more often.”  

The study is expected to continue indefinitely, with grandmothers stockpiling more and more food each time subjects are in their presence and forcing upon their plates. 

The entire research is not supported by the world’s grandfathers, however, who are reportedly too busy conducting their own study on why grandmothers “can’t just leave these kids alone” and also trying to determine precisely the reason why “things aren’t the way they were when they were young.”