Inevitable gimmicks SFU admin will use to distract you from real campus issues

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Dr. Petter Magic Mould Eraser™ The Dr. Petter Magic Mould Eraser™ is tough on university-eating fungus. This product is also guaranteed to keep nosy health and...
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Butt Plugs that aren’t but should be on the market

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By: Justin Stevens The Spring “Jumping your partner’s bones has never been this fun.”   The Feather Duster “Take that french maid fantasy to the next level.”   Mario Raccoon Tail “Hit...
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Other stupid holidays white people are bound to advocate for

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You may notice that we white people seem to ask for a whole load of stupid holidays. What most people don’t know, however, is...
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New line of Dyson products announced

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By: Vincent Justin Mitra, Peak Associate Dyson, makers of the iconic ball-based upright vacuums and blade-less electric fans, have recently announced their upcoming products at...
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If SFU was more like Hogwarts . . .

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Taking the stairs to class would be far more forgiving on your knees. Participation marks would suddenly become the most entertaining part of class. School...
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The Crank Files: 2Pac and Kimbo Slice are alive in Cuba

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This month we lost legendary MMA fighter Kimbo Slice — or at the very least, that’s what the media wants us to think. This...
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The Crank Files: Was Curious George Originally About A Human?

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Beneath the veneer of normalcy lies a world of dark shadows and the macabre. Bizarre cults, conspiracies, and creatures abound. One man seeks...
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Six ways to get the perfect beach body

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Beach season is rapidly approaching, but don’t worry — The Peak has got you covered with the quickest and coolest tricks to get that...
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Study reveals most university students only pretend to like vodka

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In a recent study conducted on university students across the country, participants answered questions regarding their vodka consumption in boths group and anonymous one-on-one...
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Ten reasons your cat thinks you’re an asshole

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You may adore your fuzzy feline, but it feels quite the opposite about you. In truth, your cat probably thinks you’re a real ass-hat...
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society