Three terrible reasons you use to justify taking a summer semester

1) You have developed an irrational fear of fresh air and UV rays. 2) You’re a grad student who has promised to finish their master’s...

LAUGH TRACK: Vancouver comedian punches up with her show Rape is Real and Everywhere

Three years ago, Heather Jordan Ross made the jump from being “one of, like, two female stand-up comedians on Prince Edward Island” to part...

Jesus takes the wheel in upcoming Fast and Furious flick

After the conclusion of Furious 7, it would have been safe to assume that the Fast and the Furious franchise had driven itself from...

From the Mind of Sam Gorick

“Sometimes I like to play with a Yo-Yo so I can know what it's like to have someone come back to me.” “You know how...

TransLink revealed to be elaborate psychological experiment

BREAKING NEWS: A recent controversy has come to light regarding Vancouver’s undisputed transit company, TransLink. According to an anonymous inside source, Metro Vancouver’s statutory...

Make SFU great again

To the wonderful student population of Simon Fraser University, The transition from February to March can only mean one thing: it’s time to welcome back...

Multicolored Reptilian alien found beneath the ‘secret basement’ in Trottier Observatory

Like you, I have walked by the Trottier Observatory wondering tirelessly as to its “true” purpose on Burnaby mountain. While the mission statement upon...

How to make a cult classic B-movie

1. Anything with “cop” in the title is sheer gold: whether it be Wolf Cop or Samurai Cop, anything directly stating the protagonist is...

The Spider Curse is a fate worse than death!

Springtime is once again nearly upon us. While some may be excited for the blossoming flowers and warming weather, a great threat lurks among...

The Valentine’s Day cards that the SFU bookstore refused to stock

Illustration by Serena Chan Illustration by Janis McMath Illustration by Zachary Chan Illustration by Christina Kruger-Woodrow "You've Stalin my heart!" Illustration by Tia Young "I'd let you see my browser...