Top Humour
SCARY STORIES: Vampire spotted at the Bennett Library
November 11, 2025By: Gurnoor Jhajj, SFU Student and Mason Mattu, Humour Editor It all went down before a history midterm, on the sixth floor of the library. I was going over my notes, double-fisting two coffees and an energy drink, when I felt a cold gust of wind . . . sending shivers down my spine. I looked around for the source of the gust, given the window in front of me…
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I HATE YOU. UNSINCERLY, YOUR LAPTOP’S KEYBOARD
November 11, 2025By: Veronica Richards, SFU Student Every day, I curse that I was born as a plebeian laptop keyboard! If only I could’ve been a bougie mechanical with 18 different components and satisfying clicky sounds . . . (click, click, click).…
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The Convocation Games
November 11, 2025By: Tribute from District Academia The day the reaping email arrived, the clouds over Burnaby brooded deeper than usual. A message was broadcast to every graduating student from the registrar’s office: “Each graduate shall receive two tickets for the ceremony.…
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The Peak investigates: The SFU Pisser
November 10, 2025By: The Humour Investigator As I sat at my cubicle in The Peak office, all I could think about was what I used to be. When I was a News Writer, I investigated crime on campus . . . and…
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Inmate blames prison time on éclair shortage
November 10, 2025By: Noeka Nimmervoll, Staff Writer My university life was garbage. Except for that time of the day when I’d find myself in front of my favourite place, Café Pour Moi — where heaven meets my mouth, where I’d get my…
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#NotClueless: Taylor’s engagement? More like my claim to fame
November 8, 2025By: Zainab Salam, Influencer of influencers OK besties, brace yourselves because I have a confession. A major one. Like, this might actually BREAK the internet. It might be bigger than Beyoncé dropping her surprise album and changing the music industry!…
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Quiz: Who said it? Andrew Cuomo, Zohran Mamdani, or a DNC insider?
August 13, 2025By: Mason Mattu, Humour Editor and Corbett Gildersleve, News Writer Congratulations, you’ve survived 13 weeks of classes — pop quiz time! The Peak has gathered only the finest quotes from two well-known individuals and James Carville. You need to figure…
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#NotClueless: SFU, like, totally gave me a private jet?
August 7, 2025By: Katie Walkley, Peak Associate Hey Instagram fan girly pop queens! It’s your influencer queen here. You won’t believe the level of growth I’ve been on lately — both as an influencer and as a girl in the world. I’ve…
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Vancouver to transform Science World into giant soccer ball
August 6, 2025By: Lucaiah Smith-Miodownik The City of Vancouver has been selected to host several FIFA World Cup games next summer. Exciting, right? In preparation for the ball-tastic event, FIFA created a list of demands the city must implement as it prepares…
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Rating MBC food choices based on how likely I am to recite Robert Frost whilst taking a shit after consumption
July 24, 2025By: Katie Walkley, Peak Associate This is my long-awaited and highly requested ranking of the Maggie Benston Centre Food Court choices based on how likely I am to recite Robert Frost whilst taking a shit after consumption (in order from…
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