PR-lady from athletics department holds mandatory teach-in on why football is problematic

By: An unsuspecting student I was walking to the bus loop after a long day of classes when a shadowy pink and yellow figure suddenly...

Vancouver’s SkyTrain is now Bitcoin-powered

By: Ashi, senior writer for imaginary infrastructure  In a move described by aides as “inevitable, visionary, and definitely not a parody of governance,” mayor Ken...

Survival guide: post-holiday edition

By: Noeka Nimmervoll, Staff Diva After the holidays, everything sucks. I love the part of winter when all I do is stuff my face with...

Ice Spice deserves an Oscar for “Big Guy”

By: Mason Mattu, Humour Editor and Official Song Reviewer “Stop playing with ’em, Riot” are the last words that moviegoers hear before being blessed with...

Hallmark presents: Love on the Mountaintop

By: Mason Mattu, Humour Editor and an executive producer with Hallmark  MAGGIE BENSTON CENTRE - REGISTRAR SERVICES DESK  SIMON FRASER UNIVERSITY  HOLLY is conversing with REGISTRAR OFFICE...

The Clausgate Scandal: How Big Beverage tried to cancel Christmas

By: Zainab Salam, Reporter in Hiding  By the time the headline “Santa Claus Hates Everyone” ricocheted across the internet and news outlets, the world had...

Grandma got run over (more like splashed so badly that she fell flat on her face) by a reindeer!

By: Heidi Kwok, Staff Writer A 92-year-old grandmother was swept off her feet earlier this morning by what bystanders initially identified as a rogue reindeer...

Comic: It’s coming on Christmas . . .

Photography/creative geniusesness: Jack Baron (Contributor), Katie Walkley (Peak Associate), Mason Mattu (Humour Editor)  

The dialectic nature of brunch as a form of resistance in a post-constructivist, Maoist, anti-rhizomatic context, as prescribed by bottomless Buddy Burgers

By: Mason Mattu, Critical Brunch Scholar  Acknowledgements: Thank you to A&W Canada for sponsoring this delicious research paper. You can buy a Buddy Burger for...

The Peak makes record-breaking sales after adding 43 variants of their editions, including the ultra-fan-favourite: Rare glitter edition

By: Veronica Richards, SFU Student Why read the news when you could collect it? The Peak is coming off the press with 43 new variants...