Man pauses to breathe, gives audience fleeting false hope that he’s done talking

Written by Kelly Chia, Staff Writer It’s Thursday afternoon, and we have a breaking headline coming in from the conference room in the West Mall...

Trapped on campus: Your guide to surviving Halloween night at SFU

Written by Zoe Vedova, Peak Associate It’s Thursday evening — October 31. While all your friends are smearing on eyeshadow from garish palettes they’ve saved...

Deadweight

Written by Rodolfo Boskovich, SFU Student “OK, I guess we may as well start,” I say to a roomful of students. “So! I’m gonna talk...

Your weekly SFU horoscopes: October 29–November 4

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Aries — March 21–April 19 Your stars spell terrible destinies for you this week. And you’re just going to have...

An open letter from an absentee

Written by Aaron Barry, SFU Student Dear Classmates, You’ve seen me. I’m in your ENGL 206 class, your HIST 102W, your CMPT 307. I’m the one...

CONFESSIONALS: The housing crisis in Vancouver is ruining my sex life

Written by Juztin Bello, Copy Editor It’s a little after midnight. I’ve lost count of how many drinks I’ve had at this club, and I...

Six rush-order costumes for Halloween at SFU

Written by Madeleine Chan, SFU Student No Halloween costume yet? Fear not. If you’ve fallen victim to the perils of procrastination, here are six simple...

Your weekly SFU horoscopes: October 21–October 28

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Aries — March 21–April 19 Enough with all the blushing over cuties on the SkyTrain. Blood is for dramatically staining...

Common man-cold season starts, plagues student body with incessant whining

Written by Marco Ovies, Staff Writer It’s that time of year again: the common man-cold has taken over SFU. According to a MySpace survey, frigivenena masculinum...

New U.N. study reveals that only sustainable source of protein is eating the rich

Written by Gabrielle McLaren, Editor-in-Chief In view of soy fields eroding soil worldwide, eggs violating poultry rights, and tofu being too moist for comfort,...