Ranking dairy alternatives from a cultured lactose intolerant’s perspective

By: Izzy Cheung, Staff Writer Picture this: it’s a Monday morning, you’ve just found out that you’re lactose intolerant (or maybe have issues digesting...

Your reactions to these daily student scenarios will determine which major you should be in

By: Izzy Cheung, staff writer Let’s start the day off properly! What time are you waking up at for a full day of classes?  ...

BREAKING NEWS: SFU introduces geese therapy to make up for students quitting from SFSS

By: Kelly Chia, Editor-in-Chief A stunning new report brings a quack of a time to the student body at SFU. Hundreds of geese were seen...

Traitors vs. Faithfuls: The Quiz

By: Saije Rusimovici, Staff Writer Are you a Traitor or a Faithful? The campus is divided. A select few are chosen as Traitors, tasked with...

Reginald the III vs. Bobby Sleigh: Part 1

By: Kelly Chia, Editor-in-Chief My precious literate raccoons, Did you miss my smooth voice narrating the most succulent meals found on the campus floors? I did,...

From the Desks of Bobby Sleigh: Bobby’s Lament

By: Kelly Chia, Editor-in-Chief and Dutiful Archivist The following work has been lovingly archived under, “Genius Art Before Their Time,” a pre-humous (we find post-humous...

How to sabotage a completely healthy and happy relationship (lesbian version)

By: Tam Nguyen, SFU Student Inside an SFU dorm, there’s a girl sleeping on the couch. A YouTube video called “Learn C++ in 15 minutes”...

Hate mail for my oral contraceptive

By: C Icart, Humour Editor Dear bitch — I mean pill,  Listennnn, before anyone comes for me for coming for you, I will acknowledge that you...

Ms. Valentine Presents: SFU Hookup Locations

By: Izzy Cheung, staff writer Hello, all you SFU lovebirds! I, Ms. Valentine, have wisdom to bestow on all couples, from  those who met...

The great wall of SFU under siege

By: Sude Guvendik, Staff Writer Dear SFU climbers,  Hold onto your harnesses because there’s some wild news — the SFU Climbing Wall, that vertical haven of...