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Scientists combine DNA from rabbit with that of Son of God

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In an increasingly common display of the unholy nature of science and logic, blasphemous scientists at the Vancouver Genomics center successfully created the first...
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Join the Club!

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By Rachel Braeuer and Gary Lim New to SFU? Missed clubs day? Finding it hard to make friends? Tired of sitting alone on Friday and Saturday...
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Slice unveils new reality TV show “Project Runaway”

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The best new reality show to come out of a typo since The Amazing Mace By Gary Lim Watch out Canada; primetime TV will never...
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Edmonton RCMP bust Julia Child pornography ring

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Over 20,000 images of horrific Julia Child sex acts discovered in raid By Gary Lim EDMONTON — Edmonton Mounties made a massive breakthrough yesterday after...
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South Korea decimated by invading Northern forces, imagines Jong Un

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Jong Un stands tall on crumpled enemy forces; actually a pile of legos By Gary Lim PYONGYANG — Several waves of Taepodong-3 missiles launched from...
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Syrian president hopes that the country’s rebelliousness is just a phase

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President assures nation he knows what it's like to be young; who the man is By Gary Lim ALEPPO — In a brief peace between ...
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Sedin twins conjoined

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Canucks hope to offset weak win record using with horrific science By Gary Lim Photos by Mark Burnham VANCOUVER — The world of hockey may...
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Stuff we HATE

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By Gary Lim and Ljudmila Petrovic Manitoba Manitoba is Canada’s worst province. There I said it. If Canada was a family, Manitoba would be the...
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SFU R-R-Roll up team looking for new players to roll over opponents

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SFU's Roll Up Team aiming to cream opponents next season; two sugars By Timothy H. Bitts Photos by Ljudmila Petrovic It’s that time of the ...
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Word on the Street: Anti-vaccination summit.

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Q: SFU held a controversial anti-vaccination conference last week. Thoughts? Anti-Vaccine Movement Room temperature IQs  “HEY. VACCINES ARE BAD. HEY, HEY, HEY. COM’ON. LOOK AT ME. LOOK...
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

Contact us: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society 1965-2024

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

Contact us:
[email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society 1965-2024