By: Lucaiah Smith-Miodownik, News Writer

At SFU, a movement years in the making, built on generations of student advocacy, has finally paid off. Well . . . sort of. The university recently unveiled the new campus gondola. Only, it doesn’t exist in the physical realm. SFU’s cable car debuted as part of the school’s new virtual reality snow day package, complete with an immersive ride up the mountain to campus.

“As you know, sometimes the buses just can’t make it up the mountain,” president Joy Johnson, currently serving her sixth consecutive term in hologram form, told The Beep. “But we wanted to find another way to provide our students with that on-campus experience that they so value. So we figured, why not go ahead and do class virtually? Zoom is great and all, but nothing beats the feeling of being in a classroom or lecture hall.”

Since debuting, the virtual gondola has run into a few small hiccups.

“For starters, it’s already almost crashed twice,” a student and passenger told The Beep. “And the schedule is unreliable. Sometimes it’s late, or it’s over capacity and the server crashes. Then you have to restart your VR headset and redo the whole thing all over again.”

“My friend forgot his virtual student ID the other day, they made him walk all the way up the mountain in the snow.”

— SFU student

“and it was freezing that day in VR. I swear this technology is too realistic.” 

Burnaby Mountain is now fluctuating -40 to 50℃. When students arrive on a tropical campus, they’re especially keen on purchasing goods just as they would in the real world. “The virtual Iced Capp from Tim’s is actually pretty good,” one customer informed the publication. 

Students commented on the striking resemblances between the digital sphere and the physical campus, expressing both amazement and frustration. “It’s pretty cool. I even saw a raccoon and a bear the other day. They looked so real, I honestly wanted to try to pet them,” one VR user explained. 

“Somehow, all the elevators are still broken, even in virtual reality. I don’t even understand how that’s possible,” another noted. “I’m just glad my tuition is going towards creating fake construction and brutalist architecture instead of just buying some road salt or snow tires for the bus.”

Rumours circulating about the next VR update say that students will soon be able to pay parking tickets with their minds as well.