By: Veronica Richards, SFU student
On a snowy mountain, about 366 metres above sea level, a fascinating creature can be found. We’ve staked out the Burnaby Mountain campus of SFU for hours, bearing the frosty winds and refilling our narrator’s hot chocolate so he can continue to do the deep knockoff David Attenborough voice. This extraordinary species stands out against the seasonal scenery. In all of his glory, there he is: that one guy who wears shorts during winter.
Watch as he confidently walks by, free from the burdens of gloves, scarves, toques, boots, and a warm drink. He does not concern himself with the dilemma of a winter coat, saying he is “used to the weather.” His fashion ranges from single-coloured t-shirts, branded t-shirts, golf shirts — and if he’s especially fancy — video game t-shirts. Don’t worry, we’ve got all our top scientists trying to figure out how these beings don’t catch a cold. Rumour has it — they sometimes wear a thin hoodie.
Now, if you look to your left, you’ll see a polar bear. Yes, you heard me right. A polar bear. His name is Frosty. According to the shorts guy, he and Frosty have become best bros. They’ve bonded over their love of salmon sashimi, the outdoors, and university basketball. “Frosty would be a great player; he really has the height going for him!” our guy eagerly shares. We now witness the guy wearing shorts approaching Frosty. The shorts guy asserts his dominance with a little “hey dude” and raises his arm to dap the bear. Frosty enthusiastically returns the gesture, sending our guy stumbling. He quickly recovers, and tells our cameraman, “Don’t worry, we’re almost the same strength. I go to the gym a lot!” He is very eager to show us his muscles, which are conveniently not obscured by a puffy winter sleeve.
Frosty glares at the oblivious guy and starts circling him as if he is catching his prey. Our shorts guy starts to circle him as well — lasting about three seconds before dropping to the floor in exhaustion. Frosty, once again, raises his nonexistent eyebrows. “Maybe we tie. But I’m definitely the better-looking one,” our shorts guy says. Frosty has no eyebrows, but you know if he did, they would be raised as if wondering is this guy serious? Oblivious, the sleeveless human continues, “Nah, we’re like polar bears in a pack. That’s totally the saying.”
We were able to ask Frosty a quick question before his afternoon swim. When asked about our guy, Frosty said, “Yeah, I don’t know how he’s not cold either. I like our matching t-shirts, though!”
Catch episode two to find out whether this rocky friendship lasts — or if Frosty eats our shorts guy.
