By: Zainab Salam, Influencer of Influencers

Today, I have to start with a confession; I was totally buggin’. Because, like, can you even imagine being personally invited to the Met Gala? Well, I could. Not to brag, but your girl over here scored a highly exclusive, VIPPP platinum ticket to the Met Gala last week. Let me tell you all about it. #LongCaptionIncominggggggg

It all began when I received a super exclusive DM from a brand that I’ve been dying to work with. And no, I’m not telling anyone the name ‘cause Y’ALL BASIC. They wanted me to attend the Met Gala as their brand ambassador. I mean, hello? As if I would ever pass up the opportunity to be photographed in my totally vintage (second-hand) dress while casually standing next to Anna Wintour. What’s next? Be on the cover of Vogue? #TotallyGoingToWriteThisInMyManifestationDiary #It’sTotallyGonnaHappen #YourGirlyIsAModel 

The theme this year? Liquidation. So avant-garde, right? I was obsessed. I thought, what better than to represent the BC every day girly, than wearing Aritiza? TNA is everything the Met Gala stands for: class, style, and a dash of mall-culture nostalgia. 

Anyway, I show up, and right away I’m thinking, wow, they really went all out with the aesthetic. Polished floors stretched endlessly, like some kind of chic runway. Mannequins are half-dressed in couture that stands dramatically under harsh fluorescent spotlights, which I assumed was a bold commentary on the fickleness of fashion. Yeah, people, my English courses came in a clutch! 

There was even an escalator that wasn’t moving — clearly a metaphor for the struggle of ascending the fashion world. I was, like, totally, living for the immersive experience. I sauntered through the exhibits, which included racks of designer labels, heavily discounted by the way. I assumed it was part of the evening’s theme: liquidation. How revolutionary! 

I mean, the whole thing was so authentic. Bargain bins? Stunning. Bold “Everything Must Go!” banners? Genius. And the fashion? Unbelievable. People were walking out with the oversized shopping bags, really committing to the whole liquidation theme. I was like, this is why the Met Gala is ICONIC! 

I wandered around, spotting other celebrities, SOOO many fashion seniors were there. I was like, OMG, is that a retired supermodel or the dead grandma from Up? 

Of course, I did what any iconic Met Gala guest would do — I started networking. It’s the fashion business after all. You’re a nobody if you don’t know somebody! I leaned over to this one lady in an oversized fur coat (a bold choice for liquidation chic, might I add), and I was like, “So, who are you wearing?” She gave me this weird look and whispered, “Clearance rack, aisle three.” The dedication to the theme was inspiring. Another guest was clutching a garment so fiercely. The haute couture world is vicious! 

The event staff was nowhere to be seen. So discreet. So minimalist. They got their NDAs on lock down. 

You guys don’t understand, the vibes were gorgeous. They made me feel like a true icon that evening. Like, Bella Hadid? Who dat?? 

And, to all of my #haters who were mean in the comments. Tryna hate on me, saying, “You’ll never be famous enough to be invited to anything!” Ya’ll can suck it! I said I will be famous. And here I am, F.A.M.O.U.S.. 

TTYL, catch ya’ll on my next adventure. I just know it’s going to be buzzworthy. #Influencer #BCRepresentation #FeelsLikeADream #WAP

Updated 2 hours later: 

To everyone saying I didn’t go to the Met Gala, and that it was actually a Hudson’s Bay, y’all are haters! I don’t pay attention to haters. #Unbothered #IAmAnIcon #VeryDemure #KylieJennerMakeupTrendTagForLikes #PleaseViral #F4F #NigerianPrinceNeeded

And to all of my fans, love you guys. Don’t forget to smile.