By: Yasmin Hassan, Peak Associate
When I’m driving late at night, and there’s a Ford F-150 beaming its stark white LED deathray high beams at my mirrors, I do not shun away; I assert my dominance by staring directly into the light because I am not afraid. My retinas are troopers, OK? Just like I stare down the piercing white lights from a car, I am NOT scared of the big light in rooms!
Society loves to villainize overhead lighting. We are constantly told that it is too harsh, sterile, and unforgiving. People act as though sitting under a well-lit ceiling fixture is akin to being interrogated by the FBI. But what if — stay with me here — the big light is not the enemy stand user? What if, instead, it is a beacon of clarity, a champion of productivity, a bold defiance against squinting and trying to figure out whether that is, in fact, a coat on my chair or the Hat Man?
Somewhere along the line, dim lighting became synonymous with sophistication and coziness. “Mood lighting,” as the kids call it, is pushed as the superior choice, a warm and gentle glow designed to lure you into a relaxed state while the boogeyman plots in the shadows. Sure, I’ll admit it: there’s a time and place for it — candlelit dinners, movie nights, and when you’re trying to disregard the film of dust accumulated on your furniture. But is it truly practical? The answer, my friends, is NO!!
Reading without straining your eyes? Big light. Making spaghetti without mistaking salt for sugar? Big light (unless you’re Buddy the Elf). Finding the sock that somehow wedged itself under the couch? Big li — wait . . . whose sock is this? I . . . don’t have a pair this colour, and I haven’t invited anyone over in months. Um, anyway, these are the fundamental aspects of life that should not be taken for granted!
Does my love for the big light stem from my innate fear of the dark? What utter nonsense! What if I like to see the room I’m in? What if I don’t want to exist in a dimly lit purgatory, unsure if I’m reaching for my phone or the remote or . . . Larry the Cat? Have y’all seen The Foot from Diary of a Wimpy Kid? Yeah, just know THAT’S the type of malicious energy you’re inviting into the room with your 40% illuminated.
Of course, there will always be the die-hard lamp enthusiasts, those who will fight tooth and nail to ensure a room is vibey. Also part of the reason why I quit the lamp game, I refuse to be out of check with my surroundings. For those of us who refuse to live our lives in a semi dark haze, it’s time to embrace our love for the big light with pride. No more shame, no more quiet suffering as you struggle to walk down a “moody” hallway looking like Velma searching for her glasses. Let me be clear: we like our rooms fully illuminated, and we will not apologize for it. Next time you end up having wine with Samara Morgan who you mistook for your goth friend because of the “ambient lighting,” do NOT call me for help! Kisses!
