Suspicious coughing in the classroom

Are you clearing your throat or is it something more sinister?

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Students sitting in a dark lecture hall. There are only two masked students and most of the rest are coughing or sniffling. Germs are visible around them as though a UV light is being shone on them.
ILLUSTRATION: Fernando Valdivia / The Peak

By: Phone Min Thant, Staff Writer

People like to boast about ditching class, and honestly, why not? Why would you spend two to three hours of your life — that is 180 minutes — stuck in a room with people you don’t know and will never remember again after four months of forced academic camaraderie? But now, what if they start coughing? Maybe add a sneeze here and there? The academic struggle-buddy next to me right now is coughing and wheezing so much it reminds me why I was awarded the “you visit often” title on WebMD’s COVID-19 symptoms page

Before you say, “It’s just a cold,” please show me proof first. Why do you have the good old COVID-19 test tucked in your photos to send to your TA before missing tutorials but never get your coughs tested? Also, talking about ditching class, maybe don’t lie about your sickness when you are not sick. Now, you are forced to come on campus when you are actually in need of bed rest and Advil lest you risk failing your class discussion grades. I can’t tell you what to do, but maybe it is time to replace that vape in your pocket with a bottle of hand sanitizer. 

Stuck next to someone possibly having some unknown contagion and having to bear the weight of paving the way for a better future (a dreadful lecture), what am I to do? Wait, why is everyone getting up and leaving? The class is over? In my quest to find answers to my classmates’ cough, I have sacrificed my wonders about my participation grades or the date of the midterm.

The next class is walking in but I’m not finished with my little reflection. For example, has enough time passed since Valentine’s Day for me to stop worrying about the spread that might have happened when people visited a bougie fine-dining place on a date? What lovers do in the bedroom is none of my concern but perhaps reconsider doing a study date if you feel a tickle up your throat. It’s already bad enough that I am seeing lovey dovey scenes at a library (seriously, I know it is a tight competition but try to book a library room ahead), I don’t want to get some disease because some couple couldn’t wait to charm each other until they get back home.

Oh, the next lecture has begun and I’m not sure if I should go or stay. I’ve never learned about organic chemistry before . . . Maybe I could make friends with the person who just sat next to me. They have really cool stickers on their laptop and — NOPE! Was that a sniffle? I’m out. Catch me in the class Discord asking if anyone can send me the notes from week five’s lecture. No, I didn’t miss class; I just forgot to listen to the professor while figuring out if the guy next to me had too much to drink last night or got the flu. 

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